Dinner with instructions

I have a terrible headache. Must have been the Swiss wine, if I had had the chance to taste, I would have probably gone for a better bottle but with Sarah quickly grabbing my glass and shouting at the waitress in irritation if this was all the wine she would get, the whole tasting process was a complete shambles…

It had all started so well. We had planned a ladies night and instead of our usual cocktails opted for a meal at a Swiss restaurant. Who does not like cheese and a pot of hot cheese on a cold windy January evening seemed to be just the ticket. As Barbara was unable to join us as she had not yet returned to reality after her extra long Christmas/New Year break in the hidden depth of Palatinate, she had emailed us detailed instructions.

> —–Original Message—–

> Subject: Re: next WED

> My Tip: Choose for cheese fondue Moitié Moitié. and don’t order for the number of people. So, for instance if you are three, order for two. We always do this, it is more than enough and to re-order is quick. Oh and if the little grumpy Swiss chef/boss is there and your table is upstairs, he will ask for your coats as there is no space for them upstairs. Don’t let him irritate you, be strong and ignore him. Beware of those coat snatching Swiss…

> Guten Appetit,

> Barbara

After the wine tasting debacle, I was not sure we could pull this off. Even though Sarah had printed off the emailed instructions and at every question directed at her from the staff, she looked at her paper for guidance. ‘Do you have a reservation?’ – Quick reading on Sarah’s part as if this had caught her by surprise: ‘Erm, no, yes, of course, yes. Yes, I called you last week.’ ‘Can I take your coat?’ Again, the email came out for reference and she stammered something like not wanting to and have been told to hold on to it but in the end both of us handed over all our possessions anyway. She looked at me apologetic, even though I had just stood there wide eyed and not put up any resistance to the coat snatching myself. The ordering did not go to plan either and even though we tried to order Moitre Moitre for only two people, they would not have it and said three needed to pay, no matter what. That was us told. Luckily then Gudrun arrived to take over and she did not give up her coat as instructed, she also shot the staff a disapproving look for interrupting our pleasant banter to ask if we would like the desert menu. I must haven eaten half the pot of melted cheese with Sarah and Gudrun sharing the other half, I cannot explain the tummy ache otherwise. The waitress came again, this time inquiring about coffees or anything else. She might as well have said: ‘You have wasted enough of our time and resources, you cheap skins, trying to get away on two dinners for three and tap water. Pay up and get out.’ As we had had no further instructions on how to leave with dignity, that is exactly what we did. Of course Sarah had to engage two further staff members to locate all of her belongings as she was convinced she had handed over a bag of important papers to them earlier. Only that Gudrun had already stepped outside with the very bag and wondered what took us so long…



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About the author: Ulrike

My name is Ulrike. I am a single Mama to two amazing girls. We live in London and I attend work fulltime. We like nothing better than going on weekend adventures.

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