It is a very sad state of affairs to see how little has really changed. We look back with shocked eyes at images on the TV- racial or homophobic abuse scrawled on walls. How far have we really come?
I am mystified as to the fuss. I am heterosexual, and some people are homosexual. I’d like to ask a genuine question- if someone else is gay, how precisely does that affect you?
I have a few gay friends- maybe more are gay and simply don’t feel they can tell anyone. That is fine. I don’t feel the need to discuss my love or sexual life with them, and I certainly don’t feel the need to justify myself to them. There is also absolutely no need for them to do this to me. If they have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or indeed the whole lot, I don’t see how that is any of my business.
Your sexual preference does not define you if you are straight. Behind closed doors, who knows what people get up to? You may have the most straightforward sex life in the world, or you may be swinging from the ceiling dressed as Catwoman while your husband sits in a bath of baked beans. Why should I mind? If you’re both consenting adults, you can do whatever you please and good luck to you. I don’t mind at all how people wish to label themselves- gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, drag queen, global-sexual, celibate, or heaven knows what else, that is absolutely fine and dandy by me. As long as everyone is old enough and knows what they’re doing, for all I care you can have your fun with a bathroom sponge.
Why do some people take such offence to another person’s sexuality? You can’t catch gay you know, it isn’t an airborne disease. Sexuality is entirely up to the individual. My friend has known he was gay since he was 10 years old. Another friend didn’t feel comfortable with his sexuality until he reached his early 20’s. We all need to be comfortable with ourselves, who we are and what we like before we can move on. For some people they just know, they have always known, for others it takes time.
I just typed into a search engine “why are some people homophobic?” and the answers returned are very long and very varied. Some people say it is borne out of fear, religious reasons, homophobic parents or friends, ignorance or lack of maturity. It is plausible that all these reasons are true.
I cannot say what it is like to be growing up and gay. I am not gay, so cannot judge. Anyone who saw Google Chromes “It Gets Better” campaign will see that some people struggle dreadfully with who or what they are. I was moved to tears by the videos made. As if teenage years are not hard enough the added pressure of feeling or knowing that you are or may be homosexual must compound this. A friend of mine who is gay was once told by another girl that she had to get changed in the toilets for physical education because the girls didn’t want “some lesbian” staring at them. She shuffled off alone to the toilets.
Being gay and female doesn’t automatically mean that you are attracted to every single female around you, but some people see it that way. Another student told her “You must love getting changed in front of a mirror; it must be like a free show for you”. I then accidentally on purpose smacked a hockey stick on to the leg that his shin guard had fallen off. Oh dear, aren’t I clumsy.
Some men also struggle enormously with knowing that other men are around them are gay. My other half went to an all-boys school and one young man bravely came to school with his Doc Marten boots upholstered in pink velvet. He was gay and some people were aware of this. Some other students took major offence to this, beat him up and stole his shoes. My other half found him alone and crying in the changing rooms. Why would you want to torture someone in such a way? He didn’t do anything wrong, he just happened to be wearing a pink pair of boots.
I have a variety of gay male friends and they come in differing shapes, sizes and attitudes. One friend is a professional drag queen, calls everybody darling and never goes out without wearing the most enormous pair of diamante black shades. Another friend lives in domestic bliss with his boyfriend. He is an almighty slob whose idea of a good night in involves a gaming console and his hand down his pants. I once saw him simultaneously scratch his bum, burp and eat seven Pringles in one gulp. That’s talent. He never calls anybody darling and once told me “Don’t kiss me when you come in, you’ve that sticky stuff all over your lips”.
What I am trying to show with the above is that their sexuality doesn’t affect me or anyone else around them. So they’re gay, so what? I’m straight; do you want to make a big deal out of that? It does not define them, it does not influence life decisions and does not mean they don’t deserve happiness, marriage, children and nothing but respect from everyone around them. I have been witness to some homophobic abuse when I’ve been with them. Some will barely blink, some will burst into tears, and my drag queen friend merely snapped his fingers and sighed “Honey, you wish you could look as good as me” to the horrible little girl who’d called him a name. Well said.
I will be forever mystified by this subject. I just can’t see how or why it matters. I am fully in support of gay marriage and will tell anyone who asks me so, regardless of their beliefs. You are entitled to believe what you want but you are not entitled to force your beliefs on others. No-one has the right to deny anyone happiness, if a gay couple wishes to get married, I firmly believe they should do so. Two people in love, wanting to make a commitment and spend a lifetime together. How on earth could that not be a beautiful thing?
