Grandads are daddy’s, daddy’s who generally were the main wage earner, or the only wage earner, whilst the mom maintained the childcare presence in the home. As it comes closer to retirement, the Grandads I spoke too had a few plans in store with their lifelong partners and for themselves. Was childcare one of them? Not so much, but in today’s society where everyone works, the moms, as well as the dads, have a job, a home and childcare to juggle. The role of grandparents have become extremely necessary.
Grannies seem to naturally take to this role. It’s an extension of child rearing, but the next generation. Depending whether it’s their kids kids or their in-laws kids, the role is the same. To help and alleviate the pressure modern families are under. But Grandads generally had a different role in their children’s lives, as work took them away from day-to-day routine and yet they have become part of their grandchilds care regime seamlessly.
I spoke to my retired male friends who are Grandads. I asked about their roles and was retirement what they expected.cTurns out these little people are the centre of their world. They adore going on adventures with their grandchildren. The pride as they talk about milestones reached, the wonder of development, interaction with others, about tv programmes, places to go to, accessible changing areas. These Grandads are quite au fait with child rearing and yet when asked was this what was part of the retirement plan, the answer was a firm no.
So what changed? With the expense of childcare, family are relying on grandparents to help where they can. Grandads, who at first never considered this as part of their retirement plan, are finding that they actively enjoy the role of childcare giver. Golf sessions are in between play-school pickups. Swim time is cut short as there’s an outing to the museum and school holidays take on a new meaning. They are fascinated by the inquisitive natures, the wonder in their grandchildrens eyes as you do something new. The Grandads see the world afresh through the eyes of a child. Suddenly bus rides are exciting. All sorts of hobbies, games, childhood memories are revisited and shared with this new generation. Retirement has taken a whole new turn, and for the better 🙂 Grandads are being introduced to new “hobbies” like online gaming, iPods, texting…… it’s the desire to keep up with their techno-friendly grand-kids that fuel them to do this. Their grandkids keep them young 😀 Its a two-way street of learning and the little ones adore being the centre of grandads world. Because it seems, though grannies are fun, they are also about routine and organisation, grandads get away with being all about the fun 😀
Yes the grannies are very much involved, but I was fascinated by how much time my male friends invested in their grandchildren too. They mentioned that as a daddy, their role was very different, that now it was a pleasure to be more hands on. And yes, it made them think of how much they missed out with their own kids when at work. That didn’t make them bad daddies, to provide for your family is paramount. The roles of moms and dads, especially for their generation, were very different. In a changing world, a changing family setup, roles are blending and adapting.
Today, most don’t have the luxury of being a stay at home mom (or dad) as life is expensive. One parent tends to work full-time, the other full or part-time. With kids there’s always the juggling of childcare, or if one parent does stay at home, it’s financially tighter. Childcare is also a financial drain. There is much to discuss and decide for the parents of today. They want to be independent and financially secure but they want their kids looked after, if not by them, by the next best thing, their parents. This can’t always be the case, but my interest was piqued by those grandparents who were free to help. Especially the Grandads.
The Grandads I talked to are retired. As discussed in previous articles, grandparents aren’t always at that stage and may still be working themselves. The role changes again. But what was very clear, is grandkids now have a very predominant influence from their Grandads ( or grandparents).
It made me so happy to hear them discuss their grand kids so lovingly, that the sacrifice of part of their retirement time, didn’t actually sound much of a sacrifice after all. Yes they still all had their hobbies they maintained, and certainly their social lives weren’t curtailed too much. No it appears that the role of childcare giver sat well with them 🙂 that they embraced the role wholeheartedly 🙂
Roles are changing, the same way family dynamics have changed.
I wonder are all Grandads like those I talked to….. What does the modern grandad mean to you?
