I think I’ve told you before but I’ll tell you again, I love doing this every week. I get to have a good little mooch around the internet and find out about amazing music videos. I also get to find out about really bad ones…
Now. As I have said before, I am heavily guilty of being a music snob and looking down my nose at others because they don’t like someone I like or do like someone I don’t. I’ve never met a living soul who likes Razorlight and there’s a very good reason for this. Their music isn’t that offensive, if you like bland, boring, predictable soft rock, easy listening for a bloke called Gerald who wears corduroy trousers and has a beard and paunch despite only being 29. I should imagine he also lives with his Mum. Their music is not diabolical, not by any stretch of the imagination. Johnny Borrell, however, is. It’s an odd one- there is many a very well written article on the internet alternately slating him or praising him. One article talked about his charisma? I’m sorry what? The last piece of cheese that fell behind my fridge had more charisma than this bare chested peacock.
My stance on it is that confidence is very, very sexy. Confidence is also brilliant when it’s well placed. If you have the musical and lyrical genius of David Bowie, you can come out on stage naked, riding an elephant, playing a tuba and with a feather duster shoved in your…anyway…. If you have reached the God-like level of amazing that is Lord Johnny of Marr, you can wear shades indoors every day of your life and I will never once call you a pretentious plank. If you happen to be able to make sullen faced goths dance in circles and fall in love, then congratulations, you are in fact Our Saviour Robert Smith and are the most beautiful panda in the world. If you are Johnny Borrell, I don’t care how skinny your white jeans are. I don’t care that you dated an actress or several actresses. I don’t care that you have the expression of a hungover water vole, and sing like a ferret being forced through a meat grinder. You Sir, are a wally, Sir.
The man said this!
“Firstly, I’m a genius,” started Borrell. “Musically, culturally, everything. I’ve written two more albums. I’m writing a film in which I’m going to star in and I’m writing the soundtrack. I can’t stop. I’ve got stacks of songs, it’s just a case of getting them out there. It’s like [Bob Dylan and The Band’s] The Basement Tapes: it took years for people to hear them… Compared to the Razorlight album Dylan is making the chips. I’m drinking champagne.”
Could have been ironic, could have been taken out of context I suppose. Anyway. He’s a total gooseberry and his music is as bland as a slice of bread with a glass of water on the side for your dinner. Here it is, in all its self loving, horrendously arrogant, ludicrous self. The man is wearing pearls. *pinches bridge of nose very hard.*
From the Album: Slipway Fires
Released: 3 November 2008
http://youtu.be/MwRNvpGydzw&h=480&w=620
