Following on from my Mother’s Story I’d like to highlight what it’s like to experience Breast Cancer second-hand and the prospects you may be left with.
My timeline of my Mother’s illness is quite hazy. I can’t recollect as quickly as she can. It didn’t happen to me. What I do remember are snippets of moments throughout that period.
My Parents had made the decision that it was best not to inform myself (aged 10) or my two sisters (aged 8 & 6) of what was happening.
I noticed the hospital appointments, the strange looks between my parents when they thought nobody was watching, the phone calls, my Grandparents hushed tones etc And my 10-year-old imagination ran wild. I had wrongly assumed we were going to have a sibling. I divulged this to my friends in the playground, in that boasting manner you do when you’re that age and excited about something. A few weeks later a friend told me that her mother was working in the hospital ward my mum was on. My friend then told me that her mother said my mum was very sick and she added that she was sorry my mum was going to die. Now that I will always remember. The friend didn’t know she was doing wrong. I don’t blame her at all, in fact, I’m still in contact with her to this day.
The events afterwards? Well it was quite frankly, a bit of a disaster.
I remember starting to cry. I then vaguely remember ‘losing it’ I was hysterical. I remember a teacher having to physically take me to a classroom to calm down. After telling said teacher the whole story the school rang home. My Father arrived up at hometime and I was left sitting outside a classroom whilst a teacher informed him that I knew about the situation at home. I’m still not sure to this day if he was more mortified, angry or relieved.
All three of us kids were then taken out for dinner. And over a rarely allowed desert the news of our mum’s illness was broken to us. There were tears. Of course there were. And there were plenty more to come.
Was this the best way to have found out about my mum? Not in my opinion, no. To this day I wish my parents had been honest with me from the start. When asked if my mum regretted the way in which the news was broken she sticks to her guns. My mum maintains that she would do it all again, that they needed to know exactly what they were dealing with and needed time to get their own heads around the facts before involving us. I think I tended to lose sight of the fact my mum and dad were people in their own right, with their own fears etc so I’ve grown to accept the choice they made.
As a result of my Mother’s illness I am vigilant. I have been vigilant from an early age.
Whilst living away from home, in my late teens, I discovered a lump. The following day I was sitting across from a stranger, a Doctor I didn’t know and I discussed my fears and where they stemmed from. I was referred for a Needle Biopsy. Within 4 days I had the results. It was clear………….. this time. They removed the lump anyway. I’m reminded how tiny it was as on a good day I can’t even see a scar.
At this point it was mentioned that a test had become available.
BRCA-1 & BRCA-2 (Breast Cancer Gene 1 &2) Tests
This test was put forward to me as a simple blood test that could tell me if I was at risk for certain cancers. These included: Breast Cancer and Ovarian Cancer (at that time). I was asked to think about it and I was asked to attend at least 3 counselling sessions before deciding what I wanted to do. I didn’t attend the counselling sessions. The Doctor put me forward for the test anyway. The hard part was the wait. Once I’d decided I had the blood test done quite quickly however it took them 1 month to get back to me with results and it was in writing. There was no follow-up appointments, nobody was in touch with me whatsoever.
The result?
Positive
Meaning: I am living with a harmful mutation in gene BRCA1 or BRCA2.
I was vigilant for a long time.
Now? I’ve lapsed in my yearly screening since changing Doctors. I don’t check myself anywhere near often enough.
If anything, telling my Mother’s story has given ME the shake I needed. This is my life. I have a beautiful son and a great husband I want to spend a lot of time with yet. It’s a few minutes out of a month just to check my breasts. It’s a quick 10 minute appointment with my GP to get screening reorganised. I need to stop burying my head in the sand. It will benefit nobody.
So, if you’re sat at home putting a lump to the back of your head like I have done this week …………
Let’s do this together?
