Over the past 100 years the film industry has developed at an amazing rate, surpassing the wildest expectations of many movie makers.
Since the first silent pictures of the early twentieth century, through to the ‘talkies’ of the 20’s and 30’s then the colour revolution of the 40’s and 50’s, cinema has consistently progressed and amazed as technology has helped it develop.
More recently we’ve seen the birth of CGI where dinosaurs are brought back to life, or terminators can mould themselves into your favourite foster mum, the sky literally seems the limit with what film makers can achieve.
Then there’s performances from the actors themselves which also seem to progress and shatter new boundaries. Whether it’s actors playing a different sex- Linda Hunt- The Year of Living Dangerously- testing their body to the physical limits- Christian Bale- The Machinist- or simply giving the sort of performances that stay with you long after the film has ended- Kevin Spacey, Denzel Washington- thespians have kept up with the changes in technology to raise the bar even further for the quality of films.
Yet there’s one area where films are often turned on their heads, where a drama can be turned into a comedy, a villain reduced to a clown. Accents. For some reason ever since the dawn of cinema, we’ve seen a consistent run of dreadful accents, some so bad it actually makes you wonder how on earth they keep a straight face.
I’m not just talking about Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins, although his ‘cor blimey guv’nor’ chimney sweep is the benchmark that all crap accents aspire to, there’s been a whole host of others over the years, that show no signs of abating.
Even a good performance can be marred by a rubbish accent. Take Jaws for example; brilliant film, fantastic performances, not least by Robert Shaw as the shark hunter Quint. Shaw gives a powerhouse performance and is a joy to watch, not least of all his monologue regarding the USS Indianapolis which is practically Oscar worthy.
However despite his cracking performance his accent is quite frankly baffling, it’s a mixture of the West Country, with a side portion of Cornish sprinkled with a bit of generic American.
Shaw’s not alone in giving a great performance despite a dodgy accent. Take Sean Connery, in The Untouchables, which bagged the Scot a deserved Oscar. Despite his brilliant performance as the Irish policeman Jim Malone, Connery seems to flit between Irish and Scottish accents whenever the mood takes him. One minute he sounds as Irish as St Patrick’s Day, the next he’s reverted back to his Scottish brogue.
Then there are the performances that are terrible in no small measure down to the accents the actors decide to use. I love Don Cheadle, who on his day is one of the finest actors of his generation, yet even I find his performances in the Ocean’s Eleven films, quite simply disgraceful. It’s not just that Cheadle, playing London explosive expert Basher, sounds about as cockney as Clint Eastwood, its the fact he’s also forced to use rhyming slang, which rolls off his tongue with all the ease of trying to push custard uphill.
Even Cheadle’s a mere amateur when it comes to poor accents compared to my personal favourite Charlie Hunnam’s performance as East London hooligan Pete Dunham in the abysmal Green Street. Not only does Hunnam’s accent sound like a South African doing a Shaun Ryder impression but the fact he’s surrounded by actors who do actually sound like West Ham supporters only makes it worse.
However, despite my ranting I’ve got to admit, that deep down, I’ve a small fondness of rubbish movie accents. They can often, amuse, entertain and even baffle in equal measure and make a film that’s not worth bothering with all the more memorable.
All together now : “Chim- chimanee, chim, chim, chim, cha-roo……”
