Hello everyone I am Trevor Weekend and I am about to give you all insight into all the real goings on in this Friday’s Royal Wedding between Prince William and Catherine “Kate” Middleton.
Prince William and Catherine “Kate” Middleton met 17 years ago at Salford University when Ms Middleton was undertaking a hairdressing course and Prince William entered her salon as a student volunteering as a guinea pig so to speak as part of Ms Middleton’s course. They hit it off straight away. Unfortunately, something similar happened to William’s hair as Ms Middleton’s attempt at using an experimental hair dye proved disastrous for William’s flowing locks. They didn’t let this get in the way of their friendship. A friendship that soon moved into the uncharted waters of courtship particularly as they soon realised that they had more in common than the fact they were heir and heiress to multi-squillion pound fortunes. They were both fond of horse riding, they liked having a good time and both were keen followers of the hopscotch world tour.
That was then and this is now or was now as Friday proved to be to all who were there. Crowds gathered from early on Friday, people rolling quielty and discreetly out of the way those who had queued up from the night before and the mistake of falling asleep in their patch. The crowd waited and waited. “It’s the blitz spirit all over again”, muttered one person who was clearly too young to understand the true horror of the Blitz yet also knew that this lame quote was enough to get them in the morning papers.
Around mid morning the guests started arriving at Westminster Abbey. All the great and good of world royalty showed up and, to ensure the Jeremy Kyle generation stayed tuned into their televisions the Beckhams and various other minor celebrities also arrived to witness the ceremony.
At 10.21 am Prince William and his best man, Prince Harry, arrived at Westminster Abbey. William resplendent in the uniform of the Irish Guards. Prince Harry in the uniform of a regiment that wasn’t the Irish Guards but that didn’t matter because nobody was paying attention to Harry unless he turned up drunk and, apart from some clamminess that looked suspiciously like beer sweats, he looked every inch the best man. As they arrived everyone remarked on how dapper William looked and also breathed a huge sigh of relief as they distracted Prince Philip from starting to count the number of Africans in attendance.
At 11.03 Ms Middleton arrived at the Abbey. She paused to burp quietly to herself in the little known ceremony of the Winding of the Wedding. It was only a quiet burp, nothing like the foul-some belch produced by Sarah Ferguson in her marriage to Prince Andrew, but it was enough to mark the occasion and please the traditionalists. Ms Middleton made her last long walk as a single lady. Prince Harry turned around to have one last look at the one that got away before she married his brother and he could then focus all his attention on her sister, Pippa.
They exchanged vows and outside the Abbey the crowd they did cheer. Ladies remarked how William and Catherine would gaze at each other almost in a state of wonder that a new man and wife would want to look at one another. WIlliam and Catherine left the abbey and, thanks to the coalition government ensuring a dry day they headed for Buckingham Palace in an open top carriage. The million strong crowd of well wishers followed the carriage in a very slow, orderly and British fashion to the Palace and waited for the happy couple to appear on the balcony.
William and Catherine appeared on the balcony and, to rapturous cheers, they kissed. Not once but twice. All that was needed was for everyone to remind the Germans who had won the war and the RAF duly obliged with a fly past of a Hawker Hurricane, Spitfire and a Lancaster Bomber. It wrapped a perfect day for a perfect couple that will not be forgotten by this correspondent nor by the many thousands of people whose only view of the ceremony was of the backs of heads of people who had arrived there earlier.
