There now follows a new edition to Daily Waffle’s political coverage with Weekend World presented by, the esteemed political journalist, champion pigeon shooter, European Hop Scotch Champion and all round good egg, Trevor Weekend. Each week Trevor Weekend will be covering the main political events of the week and starts this week with a world exclusive interview with Lord Smithlewick-Broadcoat.
“Good evening, I’m Trevor Weekend and tonight I will be interviewing Lord Smithlewick-Broadcoat. Now, Lord Smithlewick-Broadcoat.”
“Oh please don’t use my full title. Your Lordship will do.”
“Okay Your Lordship, people say that you are possibly the poshest person on the planet.”
“People do say that.”
“What I want to know is that is it hard knowing that you are known as such?”
“Well I wouldn’t say it is hard, more of a burden.”
“A burden?”
“Yes, you see when one is as posh as I am people tend to expect overt displays of, how can one put it? Snobbery and, well, poshness but I am not always like that. You see people always expect me to be eating in two or three starred Michelin restaurants but even somebody such as I needs to, how can I put this? Slum it occasionally in places such as The Ivy.”
“Quite. You are the public face of the No to AV campaign. How did you get into this?”
“I have not got the foggiest idea. I was dining with some of my wealthy friends and they said ‘look old chum we could do with a hand on this referendum thingy’. Well one could hardly turn them down.”
“And that was it? You didn’t ask any questions about it or look into the possible pros and cons of the Alternative Vote system?”
“Well, no of course not. Look one doesn’t question one’s friends. They asked a favour of me and I was quite happy to oblige in any way I could.”
“So you are fronting a campaign of which you know nothing about?”
“I know it’s about some kind of change to the voting system which may mean more Liberal Democrat MPs in parliament and that sounds utterly dreadful to me but, look, my family did not get into the position we are in today by looking into things too deeply or by deciding whether something is good or bad. We got where we are today by backing the winning team.”
“So, in essence, what you are saying is that you do not care whether or not the Alternative Vote system is good so long as it, that being the yes vote, doesn’t win.”
“Yes, you could say that.”
“But what if it does win?”
“Look with my millions behind this campaign I cannot see how it can possibly win.”
“Your Lordship, thanks for your time and that’s all for tonight’s edition of Weekend World. Nect week I’ll be interviewing the Archbishop of Canterbury who will be preparing for his big wrestling match against the Easter Bunny to decide the true story of Easter. The resurrection of Jesus Christ or a rabbit leaving chocolate eggs in the night. Goodbye”
