When I was young 40 was ancient. In many ways when I hear that age it still makes me think. Whoa. 40!! Then I remember I’ve already passed that marker in my life.
The phrase ‘life begins at 40’ was coined way back in the 19th century, though there are many explanations as to where the phrase came from.
The 19th century german philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer came close with his view
“the first forty years of life give us the text: the next thirty supply the commentary.”
In this article in the Daily Mail I discovered that love life begins at forty and in the survey it seems to be true as far as woman in their forties are concerned. I can agree with this, since I’ve reached my 40’s I’m less self-conscious in regards to my body, I know what I want and I’m not afraid to ask for it. In my 20’s and 30’s I was absorbed with the children, financial worries, work, my self-esteem was lower, my body had changed and I didn’t feel like “me”. Most of our marital arguments stemmed from sex or lack thereof.
Then as we turned 40, I had more “me” time, the children were older, less dependant, monetary worries had eased, work was work, play time was better, I was fitter and happier in myself and thus my confidence grew. Resulting in a better marriage in and out of bed.
Another article in The Telegraph was not so chirpy it focuses on the decline of memory/recall. The speed at completing tasks etc. The fact that our brain was heading in reverse. But never fear. The herbal remedy ginkgo and ginseng was shown to help improve the natural decline. Hurrah! I can also agree with this article, at times recall of a name whether person, place or thing is on the tip of my tongue. Frustrating but not worrying. Not yet. I like to think it’s because my heads distracted with all the fun stuff I’m doing. Life is too short etc
The next article I stumbled upon is about age and happiness. For me in many ways I’m far happier than when I was younger, through experience and ‘me’ time. Life is better. BUT there have been down times too. I’ve realised the role of others in my life and how relevant/significant they are or not. As we grow older, things that used to be so important lose their relevance, the same is true with people. I find I’m moving forwards not back. There are lifelong friends, but there are also friends for a season or a reason. All types of friendships are important, but it’s also important to understand the difference.
I’ve chatted with friends who’ve agreed, as you get older, you become less tolerant of “excess baggage” you don’t want to spare time with people who no longer stimulate you, you have no common ground any longer, or just aren’t on the same wavelength. The friendship either ends dramatically or just fades away until you wonder just what exactly you had in common in the first place. It all relates in the changes in you as a person, the changes in them and at what stage of your life you are at.
Then there is the midlife crisis. The man who wants to claim his youth with that penis extender of a car “I may be old, but look what I can afford attitude”. The woman who dresses like lamb, who won’t or can’t let go of her youth, grow old gracefully (but then, as I look in my wardrobe *gulps* ……is that not personal style) Or the middle-aged man (or woman) who decides a younger or different partner is just what the doctor ordered. Equally so is the couple who focused all on raising their kids in their 20’s and 30’s who gratefully look at each-other, think ‘yay we survived’ and get some quality time back rediscovering each-other and the reason why they hooked up in the first place.
As I’ve got older, my interests and tastes in all fields have changed and developed. Life experiences have moulded me into the person you see now. I have opinions that I can deliver with authority. Though whether they are gratefully received that’s another story. I also hear myself come out with those same well-worn phrases my parents used on me and I stop in disbelief thinking. “When did I turn into my mother?”
Remembering when you were cool and wondering when that stopped.Having teens can either bring you down to earth and their level or with a bang and a reality check that you actually aren’t “down with the kids” after all. You should be seen and not heard in their friends company 😉 It’s fun though as parenting takes on a different role, the relationship, as you prepare for them to leave the nest, is concreted or tested to the max. They think they know everything, like we did at 20 and yet at 40 we think they are still kids. Learning to let them go, let them make their own decisions/mistakes/plans.
But also as they leave the nest, there’s more time to focus on what you want to do next…
Me, it’s always been “sell up buy that camper van and go go go” 😀
My ‘life begins at 40’ is in its 3rd year, I’m just getting started and lots have changed already.
Some for the good.
Some not so much.
But I am moving forward. I’m more confident and comfortable in my own skin, I want to make changes as I realise it’s not just what you do whilst we are here, but how you do it. I don’t want to waste time. I want to seize the day. I’m planning/doing stuff I’ve never done before and as much as it makes me nervous it makes me excited more
So yes, I’m ancient, over the hill and uncool but I don’t give a damn. And that is #awesomesauce, THAT is what ‘life begins at 40’ is all about 🙂
Soapgirl
