Many people may wonder why the media have given the Friday after Thanksgiving the name ‘Black Friday’. Is it because of the massive sales that retailers offer on the day? If it because the weather is usually slightly overcast? Is it a powerful statement made by the FIFA president, Sepp Blatter, to show that he is not a racist? Possibly. But if there is one thing that is certain on this dark day, it’s that it brings out more crazies than any other day of the year.
Lets start with the woman in Los Angeles, who so desperately wanted to beat her rival shoppers to the sales that she in fact pepper-sprayed around twenty other shoppers in the process. Absolutely normal behaviour, if you are an escaped mental patient. She, however, was not a loony, and was in fact desperate to but an X-Box (allegedly). Some people are obviously far too desperate to get ‘noob-tubed’ on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3.
The lunacy over discounted video games continue in Phoenix, where a mini stampede resulted in a 54-year-old Grandfather being left with a bloody face after being subdued by police for attempted shoplifting. Details of this case are vague, with other shoppers claim the man was simply trying to stop his grandson from being trampled on by desperate shoppers. Again, totally normal behaviour on show by all involved.
Another incident took place in Kentucky, where two middle-aged women were literally trying to recreate Tyson v Holyfield in a toy-store over a large container of Lego. But on this occasion, Holyfield didn’t win (or get his ear half bitten off), as a third lady, presumably taking on the part of Don King, swooped in and took the lot.
But don’t worry people, it’s not all doom and gloom and there is some normality left in humanity. Three years ago, in a Texas, a man and a woman were sitting outside in the rain waiting for their chosen store to open and the mayhem to begin. Some rain-sodden conversation and a whole lot of craziness later, the two sale-hunters hit it off and are now due to get married. Goes to show that you never quite know when cupid will get you with his arrow. Even in the middle of a sale-fuelled ruckus, love can still strike.
You may be wondering what the moral of this story is? Let me stop you right there, I just simply though these were funny stories. But if you need a lesson to learn from these things it’s this; The internet was invented for a reason, and clearly that reason is online shopping (not adult content, you dirty berties!).