Star Trek into Darkness and Why I didn’t love it.
Please note that this does contain spoilers for the film.
First of all, I am not, nor have I ever been a Trekkie. However, with the notable exception of my Dad, I grew up in a house of ardent and devoted Trekkies meaning I have seen the shows and movies more times than I care to mention. I don’t generally love sci-fi as a genre but the older I get the more open to it I seem to be.
There are a lot of good reasons to go and see Star Trek into Darkness. The first reboot of Star Trek was excellent, I felt, and I really enjoyed it. The cast are really likeable and they play their parts well. Of course this one has a hulking great delicious very tight-trousered cherry on top as it not only featured the lovely original cast from the first reboot but the endlessly beautiful Bendypump Custardsnack Benedict Cumberbatch.
Let me say the good things first: The film is well done in terms of production values, and it is very obvious that a great deal of time and effort went in to outfits and make up. Benedict looks astonishing on the big screen (even my other half commented that his eyes are off the hook crazy, like galaxies) and does wear some fabulous outfits. For some of my fellow Cumberbabes out there this is a good enough reason to sit through the film. For the Pinenuts out there, Chris Pine also wears not a lot of clothing in the film. As does Alice Eve and her notable “in underwear” scene. Personally, I have a particular soft spot for Zachary Quinto and Zoe Saldana and I think those parts have been cast amazingly well and they are likeable, strong and funny characters. The special effects really are quite mesmerising and I really enjoyed them, with all the big ships whooshing around. The film is great in terms of action scenes – a lot of running and jumping and kicks and punches in the face.
Now, on to the negative. The original Star Trek series, as we all know, hasn’t aged particularly well and feels like a campy wind up show rather than an actual genuine TV programme. The original Star Trek reboot was slick and clever in the way it gave the slightest little nudges and winks in the direction of this via the odd line of dialogue or moment. This second instalment in the series however seems to have bypassed the subtle and gone straight to slamming you in the face with it repeatedly. At one point or another it seemed like Kirk was bedding two outrageously gorgeous alien women, Spock was complaining that it was illogical, Uhura held on to her ear piece, Scottie yelled “I JUST CANNAE DO IT! I’M GIVING HER ALL SHE’S GOT JIM! SHE DOES’NAE HAV THE POWER!” Bones growled “For Gods sake Jim, I’m a Doctor, not a fool man!!”, and Chekov ran around like a small child after a bucket of candy floss screaming “I can do zat!”
It was just too much. The first reboot was so clever and stylish in the way it went “Oi. Over here, this ones just for the fans.” It was lovely the way little tips of the hat were given. It felt like they respected where the idea came from and gave it the credit it deserved. But this was just horrific. It felt forced, uncomfortable and wrong. A little touch of light humour in a movie about what is essentially an insane terrorist (gorgeous, but still…insane) running amok with seemingly unlimited strength, cunning and resources does need someone to fall down the stairs or make a fart noise but this was overdone to the point that you need to throw that smoking black carcass in the bin and phone out for pizza.
It pains me to say this, it really does, but even Benedict was too much. It is no secret to anyone with a television what a great actor he is, but in this it was so overdone it was just laughable. Benedict is a master of voice acting and he knows how to pitch his voice just so that it sounds like the rumble of thunder. He is amazingly eloquent, has wonderful diction and a very pleasantly rounded British accent. He said in interviews that he wanted a reptilian tilt to the voice of John Harrison, but this was so over the top that I couldn’t really concentrate on what he was saying as I was too busy trying not to laugh at how he said it. It was only the odd point, to be fair. For the most part, his menacing hiss was actually very well done, particularly when Kirk asks him why and he replies “I am better.” “At what?” “Everything.” Benedict’s action scenes were very well done but it was a shame to have him lose the subtleties and nuances that make him such a good actor. The only scene where I though “Oh there you are” was when he was sat on the medical bed as Kirk approaches him. The stiff and mechanical way he held his body and turned his head were a delight to behold.
This part is very spoilery so I do apologise. As Kirk lies dying at the end and Spock walks over to him, I was astonished to see that Spock was crying. Spock may be half human but primarily he is a Vulcan and as a Vulcan he lacks the ability to truly comprehend human emotion. I assumed that the humanisation, if you will, of Spock would be a slow burn that would take time – as it is with any character that isn’t human and needs to learn how – Kryten in Red Dwarf for example. It didn’t seem right to me to have Spock and Kirk fighting at the beginning of the film over Spock’s complete inability to understand human emotion and then by the end of the film have him crying and telling Kirk “because you are my friend.” Don’t get me wrong, it was a lovely moment and very sweet, but it just seemed over the top and out of character.
My final note is a rather controversial opinion so please bear with me. I mean no offence to anyone. Now, Star Trek, the original, is the birthplace of slash fiction. For those of you who don’t know – slash fiction is writing, drawing etc a relationship between two male characters from film, television or books. The fictional romance between Kirk and Spock began the whole genre of what is no longer taboo and frowned upon. I read a lot of slash fiction and I love it as a genre. Television shows and films are becoming more and more aware of just how many slash fans watch shows where a male to male relationship can be seen and most have started putting in the tiniest little nod to the fans just here and there, which makes me squeal like a puppy that’s just been sat on. Again, in Star Trek, it was so overdone it made me feel a little queasy. My boyfriend is well aware of my love of slash but he isn’t interested in the genre himself, but even he turned to me and said “This stuff writes itself!” A little nudge to the fans would have been brilliant, but it was a bit ridiculous how many times they laboured the point.
I wanted to love this film but I just couldn’t. It was a shame to move from classy to brassy in such a big swoop. I can’t really understand why they did and I was sorry to note that the writers/producers pushed the idea so far. The film is still enjoyable and I do recommend going to see it but don’t expect even close to as good as the first one.
