We have all found ourselves asking this question – how do we know we are ready to start dating again?
When my friend asked me this question just recently it caught me by surprise. How was I in the position of being IN a relationship. Did this mean I was qualified to answer the question. How did I know when I was ready to start dating again?
Being caught off guard by the question and replying to my friend for more information about her dating plans. I did start to think back to my last breakup or otherwise known as the ‘Crash of 2017’. The relationship had been great to start with but when the cracks started to show it fell apart horribly. It was painful and upsetting. Our lives were so entangled with joint friends and the fact we were renting a place together. It was indeed a huge crash. I can’t put time on how long it took me to get over and I don’t think you can specify a time.
How do we know we are ready to date again?
There are so many articles about working on yourself first before getting back into the dating scene. Others about how you will just know when you feel ready. That’s throwing a lot back onto ourselves and let’s face it we want someone else to make this decision for us, it’s easier that way.
The thing is I thought back to when I felt most like myself again and when I felt I might be able to start dating again. I’d never been on a blind date. I never signed up with any online dating apps. I was just waiting around but without the waiting, I was not searching at all. I was enjoying my own company and working on being self employed. It was a busy time and because it was so busy I missed the very obvious flirting by a close friend. Then by the time that I had got an idea that he was interested I got too nervous to do anything about it.
Mutual friends noticed the flirting and commented on the two-way flirting and again I was surprising myself. After a few more weeks of flirting, we had moved from friends to dating at a quick step. It all happened so quickly and I was absolutely swept up in it all. I hoped that this would be the same experience for my friend – that early dating excitement.
The next time that I saw my friend we were setting up her dating app profiles. It was not something I did, but I guess in time I would have been doing this. I don’t feel there’s ever a right time to get back into dating after a break up but you’ll know when it’s right. And remember, you can always stop at any point. Besides it’s fun to get into some harmless flirting!
Photo by Jonatas Domingos on Unsplash