You don’t like change

There now follows a referendum broadcast on behalf of NOtoAV:

“Good evening.  I am Lord Smithlewick-Broadcoat and I am here to explain to you the dangers of Alternative Vote and why you should vote “no” on May 5th.

Let’s put it simply, a vote for yes on 5th May will represent the biggest change in UK elections since they gave women the right to vote after the Great War and I am sure you all know how that turned out.  Yes I enjoy the company of the fairer sex as much as the next chap, but did we really need to burden their pretty little heads with all the hustle and bustle of politics?

Anyway, I digress.  A vote for AV will be a disaster because it represents change and you don’t like change.  Nobody likes change.  Least of all you.  This is what AV is.  It is change.  Now I haven’t really had the time to look into whether it is change for the better or not, I’ve been far too busy managing my share portfolio to learn about all the nitty gritty of all this and I haven’t been asked to front this campaign for my knowledge of politics rather than for my bottomless pit of money, but what I do know is that you do not like change.

The yes campaign are saying that the current system of first past the post is broken but do we really need to fix everything that is broken?  Of course not.  Think back to when you were a child.  Do you remember that scalextrix that you owned?  Now that broke after a few days of owning it but did you fix it?  Of course you didn’t.  You simply placed it under your bed and after a few months you got it out again and hoped that it was working.  It never did work but you never fixed it.  Think of our current election process as a scalextrix that doesn’t need fixing and I am sure that you will vote “no” on May 5th.  You didn’t fix your toys so don’t fix mine.

Vote “no” on May 5th and make sure you avoid change.  You don’t like it.  I don’t like it but, most importantly, you do not like change.”