IT GETS BETTER project

The pledge

Everyone deserves to be respected for who they are. I pledge to spread this message to my friends, family and neighbours. I’ll speak up against hate and intolerance whenever I see it, at school and at work. I’ll provide hope for lesbian, gay, trans and other bullied teenagers by letting them know that “it gets better”

As a mom to 3 teens, I’ve seen first hand how cruel other teens can be. Unfortunately all 3 of my teens have been bullied.I’ve had to put up with silence and mono-syllabic conversations until they’ve been ready to share the hurt, then I’ve held them whilst they’ve broken their hearts and cried.

“why?” is usually their question……

I was bullied in school. No-one knew. Everyone thought I was this chatterbox, happy go lucky, confident girl. Meanwhile, two particular girls made me so unhappy. One summer I locked myself in my room on the pretence of ‘recording music’ and wished I was dead. In fact I wished I’d never be born at all. I wasn’t pretty enough, slim enough, cool enough.

God bless my own mom, who let me get it out of my system and carried on, then when I left my ‘room of despair’ she hugged me and I knew she was there for me without having to try and explain what was going on in my head. My mom forgets that summer, but I don’t. And I don’t forget how she was unobtrusively there for me 😀

Today I feel teens are under even more pressure. They have a wider choice of who to be and yet if it’s not the “norm” they are bullied for it. The world still seems so backward regarding perceived difference. Gay v Straight….. What’s that all about, surely you should just be able to be, without some label. But apparently not.

But when I talk to my teens and their friends, they just want to belong. They seek out similar to them and feel comfortable. It’s when they come across another set of teens who have made different choices, that the problems arise. That and the fact that most parentals don’t like any of the teen choices. When did we get so narrow-minded!!

It Gets Better is a project to support young people.

“Growing up isn’t easy. Many young people face daily tormenting and bullying,leading them to feel like they have nowhere to turn. This is especially true for LGBT kids and teens, who often hide their sexuality for fear of bullying. Without other openly gay adults and mentors in their lives, they can’t imagine what their future may hold. In many instances, gay and lesbian adolescents are taunted-even tortured-simply for being themselves”

I talked to my teens about this project. Ironically they had the same opinion as me. It’s great that this project exists, but sad that it needed to be made. All around the UK there are Pride Marches. People who are proud of who they are. They are not asking you to agree with their choices or decisions, they are asking to be accepted for simply being themselves.

There are those who scripturally think it’s wrong, that is their opinion. I’m not asking for sides or arguments. Everybody deserves to just be. They deserve to be allowed to make choices without fear of bullying or persecution. No matter colour, creed or sexuality.

Personally I found that bullies are those who are just as insecure, but channel their insecurities aggressively. When I faced the two girls who made my life a misery, I challenged them and told them to do their worst because it really didn’t matter any more. They stopped. Suddenly I wasn’t a target because their demeaning comments and actions just weren’t working anymore.

I was lucky. I also had support.

I became the happy go lucky girl my class mates remember. I can be there so much more for my kids too as I’ve been there. I still say this is a harder world to live in. My kids have been bullied online, by text, verbally. The type of bullying that hurts deeper and for longer than being hit, bruises heal, words stay…..

I’m in support of the It Gets Better project as I feel it’s important that teens realise just that., You’re not alone and it does get better…..

For more information check out

www.itgetsbetter.org

The It Gets Better Book

Soapgirl