Hello everyone, Nick Clegg here.
After a rather weary week for the Liberal Democrats and our supporters, or what’s left of them, there have been a few questions raised about my leadership and the direction our Party is heading as a member of the coalition. In order to answer these questions I have took it upon myself to work an extra half an hour to 3.30 so I can write this letter to you explaining what I have been doing in the past week in the hope it will calm some of your fears about the Party.
I think I had better start off with Saturday, the day after the Royal Wedding. Unfortunately I was a little hungover that day after spending the Friday in the company of the Prime Minister celebrating, along with the rest of the nation, the wedding of William and Catherine. Anyone who thinks that I just bow down to anything Mr Cameron says should have seen me that Friday as I stood my own drinks and, as a matter of fact, paid for all the drinks myself!
Obviously Sunday is a day of rest so no campaigning was done on that day out of respect for the churchgoers who believe that Sunday is a sacred day. So, anyone who thinks the Liberal Democrats do not listen to voters do not know that I did not get out of bed on Sunday until 12.30 out of respect for our Church going supporters.
Monday was a crazy old day. At about 3.30pm the Prime Minister telephoned me to let me know that Osama Bin Laden had been shot by the Americans. At first I was worried about the effect this would have on the “Yes to AV” campaign until Vince Cable, who had been glued to the news channels like a complete nered all day, informed me that Bin Laden was the world’s most wanted man. Well! You learn something new every day.
Tuesday and Wednesday were supposed to be campaigning days for me but Chris Huhne and Vince Cable persuaded, nay begged, me to not get involved. They said that my talents would be better used to sitting in the office looking nice than ruining the Party’s chances at the ballot box. They’re such cads! However I didn’t want to appear as if I was ignoring my MPs so, instead of campaigning I went back to Liberal Democrat headquarters and had a little snooze.
Thursday was voting day and, in all honesty, I was disappointed in you all for not voting Liberal Democrat or “Yes to AV”. I mean you only have to glance at this letter to know how much hard work I have put in and a little gratitude in return would not go amiss. However I am not one to bear grudges and I will re-double my efforts to make the Liberal Democrats a force to be reckoned with.
