My Dilemma With Admiring John Mayer

Have you ever felt slightly ashamed for liking something or someone? Perhaps because this said interest was a guilty pleasure in the eyes your peers’ perspectives, or was viewed as negative, or some other version of bad?

We’ve all been there and done that. And believe me, I have more of these interests than I’d really like to admit, but I’m willing to discuss one of the biggest I have with this post– that which is one of my favorite musicians, John Mayer.

Ladies, I know you’re probably rolling your eyes now. And gents, depending on how much you know about Mayer or have followed his career, you probably don’t even know how I could possibly have a dilemma with being a fan of his.

Here’s the deal, though. When Mayer broke out into early 2000’s, it was a wonderful time for me. I was just learning to play guitar, and from listening to his debut record, Room For Squares, I knew he was the real deal. I never heard anyone play an acoustic guitar the way he did, and I was convinced that he was one of the greatest song writers at the time too. Both of which I still feel the same about today. He’s that good, and if you don’t believe me, I honestly think you’re ignorant as to what good music and good writing really is. Just listen to 3 x 5 or the acoustic version of Neon from Room For Squares, and I guarantee you’ll feel differently. To this day, these songs still get me in the best and worst ways possible.

But let me get this clear. It wasn’t when I first heard John Mayer’s “Your Body is a Wonderland” on the radio, that I fell in love with him for the same reasons that most girls my age at the time (13 or 14) up into their mid twenties did. You know what I’m talking about: the John in that music video that was so handsome, romantic, and sensitive to women’s sexual desires, as he sang about his lady’s candy lips and bubble gum tongue . No. That was all cute, yes, but I just loved him because he was such a better artist beyond “Wonderland.”

I knew it. My brother knew it, and even John knew it.

I can remember reading one of John’s first articles in Rolling Stone, or maybe it was another magazine, but it was the first time that I remember hearing John’s real personality come through the words I was reading. It was the personality of his that most people hate today: the John that is brutally honest about life, the music business, celebrities, society, sex, drugs, and rock and roll on top of everything else.

When I was that young and read quotes from John that depicted his pornographic viewing habits, his pessimism about what pop culture shows, music, and other things people have grown to like over the years, and even to when he described his song “Wonderland” as garbage, and only as something that he wrote to become famous, I was always bothered.

These were all things that made me uneasy. I hated how much he hated things, and I couldn’t understand how he could still write and perform these beautiful songs all of the time, either. But I was only a teenager, and had a lot to learn.

At some point or another, though, I got over it. I got better at playing guitar and writing my own songs, and still found inspiration from John’s music too. It was a happy balance. And even as I got a little older, I came to admire some of his extreme pessimism and outrageous quotes that I came across from time to time. Probably because I had done a little living myself and could understand where he was coming from better.

But then came the interview with Playboy in 2010. That’s when it got bad. If you’re not familiar with what that interview entailed, here’s a quick recap: Mayer caused controversy over his comments on his ex girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, in which he referred to her as “sexual napalm,” and discussed his lack of interest in black women because his genitals are “white supremacist.” Among other things, I might add.

It was bad. That bad, really. And it made me hate one of my favorite musicians for a long time. Especially because he couldn’t handle his Twitter for long afterwards, considering the negative reaction this interview spurred. He made “apologies” but still came across like a jerk in them, mostly because he was still trying to lecture his fans and haters on something that was just not important.

And even after all of this time, I still have issues with liking him. Simply because I was let down. I was willing to let his normal arrogance and stupid comments slide for most of his career. But then I felt that I couldn’t anymore, not after that interview.

But then, still. I knew I couldn’t always hate him because he’s too good of an artist. And that’s what kills me. He’s getting away with it again, and always will.