There I was, doodling away, trying to keep my sanity. The chief suddenly asked my thoughts on it, as my eager scribbling had been noted. I looked up in panic, trying to read in his face what had just been discussed, turned a deep red and looked back down on my notepad for guidance. All that was scribbled on there was:
Lord, win me the lotto
To get out of this grotto
I believe to deserve
They all get on my nerve
Gimme the dollar
I hate Gudrun’s collar
Next to it were several stick men running around and very childlike drawings of rain, clouds and other weather symbols. Luckily someone a lot more eager than myself picked up the thread that had been lost and said something about a potential sales opportunity (aren’t opportunities always somehow potential?) and everything carried on. By the end of the meeting I am being sent off to a Health & Safety briefing as we need a representative in the office who has been trained. Why this has fallen upon me, I really do not know.
The Health & Safety training is tiring. I cannot even concentrate on my doodling because it makes my eyes go funny. I get double vision and feel dizzy trying to focus on my drawings. No good. So I lift my eyes and stare at the powerpoint being presented to me. Now I can read what is being said as well. Just to make sure.
Some people are more the visual type, some remember better from audio. I don’t care much for either if the subject is so trivial. And it is being dragged out by showing the presentation in bits. He presses a button and the question appears: Health & Safety related incidents cost the UK economy how much per year? Another press of the button and three possible answers appear. We are now urged to discuss in groups of three. I tend to go for the highest number, otherwise we would not be sitting here, I think. We chose the golden middle and then let out a surprised gasp when after another press of the button the answer appears – the highest number. Wow.
The next exercise is for our teams of threes to wonder around the building and find and note down any potential hazards, which event could cause harm and the likelihood of it happening. We all desperately try to think how we could possibly come to harm by the cleaner’s trolley that is left unattended in a corner of the bottom staircase and pull on the birthday card stand in the local corner shop. There are 18 of us now pushing and pulling, tripping and slipping and creating hazards to shine with our examples when we get back to the training room. Our efforts are all written down on a whiteboard, another visual aid to help us learn. The list that is created seems substantial. With a ‘well done’ comment from the presenter, we move on to the next topic. Maybe he will pass the whiteboard to property management to be acted upon later, I think but it is wiped clean during another exercise a couple of hours later.
As I return to my desk after successful completion of the training course, I am summoned to dial into the monthly team meeting for the remainder of the day. I spent an hour and a half with the phone pressed to my ear, trying to understand what is going on. I blame the bad line when every time I hear my name followed by an audible question mark – I have to say: sorry, what was that, it is a really bad line, could you repeat the question please – after which I try to answer truthfully. But do I have any suggestions for minimising disruption to workflow through meetings? What? At last it seems time to wrap up the meeting and the conclusion of having fewer meetings will be emailed out to us first thing tomorrow and properly looked at in a follow-up meeting.
Great. I can’t wait.
