Friendship means something different to all of us, and we probably all have our own definitions of the word. But despite us having different thoughts on the meaning, there are many fascinating facts behind the science of friendship and how and why we make friends.
In the age of social media, mobile phones and general digitalisation of the world, its arguable that that friendship is a lot different now than it was in the past; from how we make friends, to how we communicate with our acquaintances. Cat-fishing, trolling, ghosting and cyber-bullying are all terms that didn’t exist some 20 years ago, however they are all factors which are impacting friendships in 2019. Yet one thing remains the same; science. Radleys has compiled some interesting friendship facts that are based on years of research and science and how they are being impacted by technology.
Scientific criteria for friendship: online and offline
What’s the difference between a true friend and just an acquaintance? Science has the answer. Behavioural scientists and psychologists describe a close friendship as a relationship that ‘involves a long-lasting bond of sacrifice and shared moments’. A true friend prioritises your happiness, never asks you to put your friendship before your principles, and you miss them when they’re gone.
But since the introduction of the internet and social media, the term ‘friend’ itself has become seemingly inadequate. Can we really be best friends with someone that we have never met, or even fall in love with them?
Whilst this question hasn’t necessarily been answered scientifically, there are strong cases for both sides of the argument. Relationships are built upon elements such as common interests, values and equality; both of which can be discovered just by chatting to somebody online. Because of this, many people believe that creating a true friendship with someone you haven’t actually ever met, is definitely possible.
Millennials are a generation that have grown up with technology and the internet being available at their fingertips – so making friends should be easier than ever, right? No. In fact, 1 in 5 millennials are lonely and claim to have ‘no friends’.
The changing roles within friendship
Even before they can talk, it appears that babies still have expectations about the social world; The Journal of Experimental Psychology reported on research which suggests that babies as young as nine months old can recognise that friends tend to have similar interests. Early childhood friendships are the stepping-stones to a healthy, socially competent life and there are many milestones in forming friendships, as well as influencing factors that contribute to social competence and ability to form lasting friendships.
Socialising and building long lasting friendships is a huge factor of our development – not just in our early years. Our needs for friendships change throughout the years; from our school years, to our 20s, to being in our elderly years. Our friends help us through different aspects of life including illness, death, relocation, financial problems and even parenthood.
While we are in our teens, we need acquaintances who think like us, dress like us and enjoy what we enjoy, but when we reach our 20s and 30s, we need to develop a diverse group of friends to support up as we grow in our social and our professional lives. People that will help you develop into the person you want to become.
Naturally over time, we will grow apart from friends and our circle will shrink, but technology is making it easier to stay in touch with our loved ones and provide an invaluable link between people separated by distance – or just life in general! Research suggests the digital native seems to find online interaction with real-life friends beneficial.
Science of attraction
Science suggests that levels of attractiveness affects the initial stages of friendship. Regardless of where we rank in the world of beauty or style, we tend to believe that people we find attractive are more like us in their attitudes and values. Research suggests that an attractive face tends to feel familiar to us and we feel like we have already interacted with this person previously – even if this is not the case – and this feeling of recognition or familiarity may help us feel comfortable in a social situation. We also want friends who possess good social skills as this makes friendship development a lot easier for both parties. Good social skills help set the foundations for a budding friendship.
Friendship brings out the best in us
Friendship offers a number of benefits, including stronger immunity, lower stress, improved self-confidence, increased happiness and better overall health. So, not only do great friendships increase our mood and wellbeing, they have also been scientifically proven to enhance our health.
Whilst there are proven benefits of friendship, one side effect of not having friends is loneliness, which is a known cause of dementia. This is because a lack of social interaction leaves the mind unengaged and affects cognitive health. More than 850,000 people suffer from dementia in the UK, making it the country’s biggest killer. This is a particular issue against the elderly, as it is harder for them to form friendships, but care homes within the UK are introducing technology that aims to help tackle dementia and improve the wellbeing of residents.
Another large health concern triggered by loneliness and a lack of friends is depression. There is a correlation between the use of social media and feelings of depression, with studies suggesting that social media can have a direct impact on a person suffering from depression. Having said that, there are also ways in which social media can be used to fight and prevent depression. Social media gives us the ability to discover new communities and engage with like-minded individuals and make connections with new friends, whilst staying in touch with old ones.
It goes without saying that making and maintaining strong friendships are important for a happier life. Not only do friendships bring out the best in us, it is scientifically proven that they can prevent certain health issues.
