I was twelve years old on September 11th, 2001.
Easily so, you can imagine that my initial reaction to the terrorist attacks in New York that day were a mixture of fear and confusion. Today though, at twenty-two, I see mostly naivety in my younger self. To put it lightly, an utter lack of knowledge about the politics, destruction, and reality of what had happened. Sometimes I think I lucked out because of my ignorance then. Sometimes not.
I mostly just remember my parents glued to CNN for days, hours at a time, until at one point, I think it was my mother who said something to the effect of “we need to stop watching this for a bit.” Even though I was unaware of so much, there was no mistaking how horrific the attacks were.
I’ve lived in New York my entire life, and thankfully, no one in my immediate circle of family and friends was a victim of any of the attacks. Though the panic and immediate responses to them shook everyone around me. I grew up about three hours north of New York City, near the state’s capital, Albany, and I can remember my 7th grade teachers saying that one of the planes flew over the Albany area, giving us all goose bumps. At the time, I saw it almost like a modern ghost story, told to scare youngsters around a campfire. Even though I knew it was no tall tale.
Then there was the surge of patriotism. Everyone in the country felt it. At school, one year later, we were asked to write poems in our English class. Here’s a segment of mine, which I have back in my parents’ home:
Americans
A day to remember
So long ago.
Yet, it feels like it was yesterday
As we all see it today
In our own and special yet heartbreaking ways
Not only to see the bad in it
But to see the positives as well
As America pulled together
To show that nothing can make us fall apart
Through thick and thin
We will come through again
To show what we stand for
I feel ridiculous now for posting that, but I was so proud of it at the time that I promised to never take it down from my wall in my bedroom. It’s one of the few promises that I’ve kept to myself over the span of the last ten years. Something I’m still proud of.
There’s no denying that the events of 9/11 have permanently changed the way I’ve had to go about my day to day activities, especially since I’ve lived in New York City. I don’t think things like short commutes would be taken for granted if it weren’t for 9/11. This has been one the biggest eye-openers for me– in regards to my evolved understanding of that day, no longer as a child, but as a young adult. I can also attest to how much 9/11 has continued to affect my personal relationships, most especially with my parents, who are always the most concerned about my safety and whereabouts. It’s another constant factor of our lives that previously, was probably taken for granted more often than not.
Arguably, ten years is an eternity. Arguably, it isn’t. Some days I feel one way about it, only to change my mind moments later. The answer doesn’t really matter though. Just like no matter how much time goes by, it doesn’t change how much 9/11 affected Americans and how much it caught the world off guard.
Back then, watching the news became another reason to stay fearful from the unknown. But that was then, when I was still learning about this world. The way I see it now, however, is that our entire lives and the futures of them are always unknown. Therefore, we should never run away from it, but only embrace it, every day, as it unfolds its mysteries to us.
And most of all, I know that if there was any good to come out of 9/11 for me, it was exactly that.
