Ten Steps to Beating the Dating Game

Ten Steps to Beating the Dating Game was written by guest writer Chantell Williams.

When I have been single on occasions in my life, I have been slightly confused and cautious with the whole dating situation (along with millions of other people out there). Media, magazines and blogs have led me to believe that dating really is a game, and bagging the perfect partner really is like a puzzle! All that is needed is for the puzzle pieces to be made clear and then these can be put together to easily make sense of the game.

I have put together ten pieces of the dating game puzzle to help you in getting the guy or girl of your dreams. If you set yourself the target that you create one piece every three days, then it should only take you approximately 30 days to bag your perfect pal (bearing in mind that this is an estimate based on your average Joe Bloggs, with no complications or baggage). So here are my tried and tested steps to the dating game:

1) Read the secret by Rhonda Byrne! You can’t start a game without having the complete confidence that you are adequate enough to complete it. This book will give you the total confidence that you can do it and start you on the road to success.

2) Once you have identified your target, secretly find out about this person; their hobbies, their favourite drinks, where they socialise etc. Don’t make it obvious that you are a stalker though or else it will not have the desired effect later on….

3) Get noticed by this person. If it’s in work, then ensure that you pass them in the office, send out relevant office emails, suggest a work night out or a ‘getting to know you’ party at a venue you know they like. If it’s a Facebook encounter then you will have to work a bit harder. If they are a friend of a friend you will need to actually take the plunge and add them, then send them a simple message like “hi – I know you from somewhere I just can’t put my finger on it?” When you get a response and they have added you, lay off a bit as you don’t want to come across too eager.

4) When they have become a Facebook friend (if it was a work friend then you would have added them by now as you will have deliberately added the whole office before this person so they don’t feel too special. Also by this point they definitely will not refuse as you would have at least 10+ mutual friends), you need to then get noticed and slightly more personal with them. Keep an eye on the type of things they post. Check out if they like festivals, the bars they go to and the music they like. What you need to do then is mirror their Facebook, but you need to be clever and one step ahead! For example, if they put on their Facebook ‘I am going out tonight’, the day after you put something like ‘wow I have a bad hangover’ or if they put something like ‘the weather is awful’ you put something like ‘I wish this weather would get better!’ or if they put ‘I’m bored’ you put something like ‘ enjoying a night in on my own’. This way the person is getting to know you and will start to by now subconsciously believe that you have a lot in common.

5) This one is easy,  just like their status’ every now and again. Write funny comments on their updates and do this for a couple of days and then….

6) Wait for one of those statuses. Everyone does it on Facebook at some point in one week! Whether it’s something as simple as ‘I need a drink’ to something as severe as ‘please shoot me!’ When you see this vulnerability in the status you need to pounce like a lion on a rump steak and send to the inbox! Something easy like ‘hey hun r u ok, what’s with the status – hope everything is good’ and then before you know it you are onto the most important stages… the inbox’s!!!

7) So now you’re onto the inbox’s, you’re up to the crucial stages. The inbox’s ideally should go on for at least 4-6 days. Start with innocent banter, ‘how is your day’, ‘man, the weather is rubbish today’, ‘what you been up to?’, things like that, then more will gradually come, as long as it’s played right. Remember not to be too heavy at first as they will probably run a mile.

8 ) After you feel that the time is right and they still feel on a friendship/banter/slightly flirty level with you, you need to update your status to something along the lines of: ‘my Facebook messages are playing up. sorry guys am not ignoring you’. You then need to reply to their last message with something like ‘hiya sorry hun my Facebook is playing up text me instead sorry I’m not being rude’ and follow this with your number.

9) We are almost on the final stage where you get the result you wanted. What you need to do now is text the person as you were in-boxing them. Eventually after a friendship is built and the person has stated that they are not doing anything one weekend, you can then go for the goal! Send a text, ‘do you fancy going for a pint on Friday’ or ‘do you fancy having a few glasses of wine at weekend and watching x factor’. Obviously this will differ depending on the person and what you know about them by this stage. It’s inevitable by this point that they will say yes, or they may say no but then will follow it up by ‘but I can do next weekend!?’

10) Then, finally, you are almost at your goal. Look extremely hot, pamper yourself so your self-confidence is booming and don’t forget by this point you should ideally know this person fairly well. Let them take the lead with the conversation and then after they have started a subject ensure that you put a massive input into the conversation. This way this will guarantee that by the end of the night they believe you are the most interesting person in the world. They have hopefully been drinking so they will not realise that you have in fact just been convo trailing! Ensure that there is never a silent moment, pay compliments any where possible, however I must admit I do find it more affective keeping it on the friend level with the compliments. This way they do not get scared and run, for example: ‘ aww mate your lovely you will find the right guy/girl one day, it’s just a waiting game’. If number 10 is done correctly then Finito!!! This should ensure that by the end of the night you will not be getting the late bus home alone.

IMPORTANT: if you want to keep the game as it is, then remember to offer breakfast. However if you don’t and find it more exciting to complete the puzzles as opposed to just looking at them, then do the ‘I’m so sorry last night shouldn’t have happened. We over stepped the boundaries and I’m not ready for a relationship’ plea the day after. This way they will feel guilty and feel like they took advantage, but that guilt for them will obviously blow over after a few weeks!