Having kids is not something generally taken on lightly. Bringing another person into the world, rearing them for the next 16/18/21 odd years, guiding them, teaching them, loving them it’s an arduous and sometimes a thankless task. It can be repetitive, tiring, soul destroying. It can be rewarding, thrilling and awe-inspiring. Your mini me’s are your world. Parents.. for some, that’s all they ever wanted to be.
That’s how it was for me. I always wanted to be a mom. So when at 23, I discovered I was pregnant, despite being on the pill. My world changed forever. The timing wasn’t perfect. I was in a loving marital state, so some boxes were ticked in my world, but others were not. My husband also 23 was just out of uni, a budding musician who had to change route and ‘get a job, a house, responsibilities’. He used his degree and got that job, those responsibilities. The sacrifice, that chance of doing what he loved the most. Music, he set it to one side as it wasn’t the done thing. Not back then.
I was just qualified as a general/childrens nurse and no one wanted to employ a 4.5 mth pregnant lady, thus the start of my own career was stopped before it started. But I was pregnant and overjoyed despite the hardship. When our son arrived just before I was 24 we were ready, not financially, but we got there and we have never regretted him. He’s now 19. He’s a fantastic son and man in his own right. He and his dad are best mates as well as confidantes, that age gap seems nothing. We added to our family and had 2 girls ( 14mths apart in age.) Â At the time, having a then 5 yr old boy a 1 yr old and a new born….wow. It was tough. Very tough. But again we struggled by, I was working nightshifts, my husband going for and getting promotions. He provided so much for us, sacrificed so much.
Now we’ve 3 teens, we are in our early 40s. We’ve an extremely close relationship with the kids. They share everything with us. We’ve managed even to rediscover ourselves ie. he plays guitar in a band, I still go “out to play”. We still adore each-other đ We’ve been very blessed.
Now they are older the pros are very prominent, we’ve  family time but also us time. And because we still have such a good marriage, it’s an example in itself to our kids as to what they want too. It has been tough financially. Kids are expensive and if you’ve nowt to start with it can be very tricky indeed. That would be the con of getting pregnant before you are financially stable, but then if we’d waited, we wouldn’t have all the pros now.
So it made me think. What is the age of parenting?
I did a personal ask on my twitter and Facebook account. I asked people what age they were when they became a parent, why, the pros and cons and how they feel about it
I was overwhelmed with replies. I have put together that information (identities with-held) and will share some of that information I’ve found out over the next few articles.
Soapgirl
