Compliments
Like manners, compliments are free and should be freely given. At times we expect them, other times we don’t so it’s an unexpected bonus. What’s worse is when you expect one and you don’t receive one and you feel, well, a bit deflated actually!!
Whether you consider it self seeking or deserving it always makes me happy when I receive a compliment. There’s nothing nicer than coming down the stairs, ready to go out and see that “oh wow” look and hear that other person utter a similar such “oh wow” phrase. It makes the effort, time and sometimes unsure-ity (so a real word!!) disappear. That is, of course, that you believe and accept the compliment in the first place.
I’m a chaotic person when it comes to clothes, some days I know exactly what I’m gonna wear, others my bed will be strewn with several reject choices. All depends on my moods (hormones) the weather, (ever changing in NI) or the reaction of said outfit. If I’m on form and the outfit ticks all the boxes for me, it’s a winner no matter what the response. But there are times when I come down to do a ‘Ta-Da’ and I get either a non, a mixed or a really?? Type response. Cue flouncing off in hurt rage and muttering, or a “well yes, really. Why what’s wrong with it!?!” attitude. Oh we woman are hard work…. men too may I add!! #justsaying
I don’t need the compliment to validate me, it’s just so lovely to hear that the effort I’ve made is appreciated.
It’s the same with cooking, you like people to enjoy what you’ve made and appreciate the effort. A clean plate is usually thanks and compliment enough for me 😀 Also being complimented has a roll on effect. You want to create the experience again. To give and receive pleasure over an action. Compliments do that. Plus it’s just good manners.
I used to find it hard to take compliments, but I learnt that rather than fob them off or be self deprecating as a reply, a simple thank you is all you need to say. Of course you can add to it &/or return the compliment too ;D
I’ve got into the habit of “saying what I see” In a good way I might add. If I see someone, even if I don’t know them, and for example their look is fabulous, I’ll tell them.
It’s amazing the response. Some are surprised but thankful, some light up but fob the compliment off, others explain why they decided to go with that look. Whether it’s a male or female, clothes, hair, music, I’ll make a compliment if I feel it’s relevant. I’ve received more smiles and thanks than you could imagine. And it cost me nothing, all I did was say it out loud. I think we’ve lost the art of giving and receiving compliments. I think we need to get that trait back. As I say, like good manners, compliments are free.
A dictionary definition of the word compliment is:
1. an expression of praise, commendation, or admiration: A sincere compliment boosts one’s morale.
2. a formal act or expression of civility, respect, or regard: The mayor paid him the compliment of escorting him.
3. compliments, a courteous greeting; good wishes; regards: He sends you his compliments.
4. archaic, a gift; present.
5. to pay a compliment to: She complimented the child on his good behaviour.
6. to show kindness or regard for by a gift or other favor: He complimented us by giving a party in our honor.
7. to congratulate; felicitate: to compliment a prince on the birth of a son.
So my advice, for what it’s worth;
Don’t think compliments, say them.
When you get compliments, accept them gracefully with thanks
