• The majority of couples think they have a healthy approach to discussing money (86%) but one in five (18%) admit they often argue about it while 17% avoid the conversation altogether
• To help partners build financial intimacy, L&G shares the five key money conversations every couple should have
This Valentine’s Day, research from L&G reveals one in four people in relationships (26%) are in a ‘financial situationship’ – long-term partners who manage their lives together but haven’t fully opened up about their finances¹.
While the research shows most people have a good understanding of their partner’s income (78%) and monthly bills (75%), long-term finances remain a blind spot, with a third (36%) having no clear understanding of their partner’s pension savings.
The majority of couples think they have a healthy approach to discussing money (86%) but one in five (18%) admit they often argue about it while 17% avoid the conversation altogether.
To help couples navigate these important discussions, L&G has shared guidance on the five money conversations every couple should have.
The 5 Money Conversations Every Couple Should Have (and When)
1. Understand Each Other’s Income, Expenses, and Money Mindset
When: As trust builds in the relationship, and again when you’re discussing shared plans (such as moving in together or combining finances). These conversations should always happen at a pace that feels safe and comfortable for both of you.
Talk about:
• What each of you takehome each month (after tax)
• Your fixed financial commitments (rent, debt, subscriptions, family support, etc.)
• What your attitude is to money – are you a saver, a spender, or somewhere in between? Check out our financial love language quizto find out.
Why it matters: This conversation isn’t about judgement or comparison. It’s about being open, setting expectations, and making sure your approach to money feels fair to both of you.
2. Align on What You’re Saving for Together
When: Once your finances start to overlap, then check in at least once a year, or whenever priorities change.
Talk about:
• What you want to save for over the next few years (holidays, property, children, emergencies, or something else)
• How much you can realistically put aside without creating pressure
• Whether you want shared savings for joint goals alongside personal savings of your own
Why it matters: Talking openly about money turns good intentions into clear plans. It helps you move forward together, rather than unknowingly saving toward different goals or timelines.
3. Decide How You’ll Split Shared Costs
When: Before making any financial commitments together, such as moving in, buying a home, or having children, and any time one of your incomes or circumstances changes.
Talk about:
• Which bills each of you will be responsible for
• Whether splitting everything 50/50 feels fair, or if a different approach makes more sense
• If using a joint account for shared expenses would simplify things
Why it matters: Clear agreements help avoid awkward assumptions and unspoken resentment. When both partners understand the plan, it builds trust and confidence around everyday money decisions.
4. Look at the Bigger Picture and What Might Change
When: Before major life milestones, and as part of a regular annual money check‑in.
Talk about:
• Plans around buying a home, starting a family, or changing careers
• How time off work, parental leave, or caring responsibilities could affect your finances
• How often you want to review your finances together as life evolves
Why it matters: Life doesn’t stand still and neither should your financial plan. Ongoing, open conversations help you adapt as circumstances change, so you’re making intentional decisions together rather than being caught out when life takes a turn.
5. Talk About Pensions and Later‑Life Plans
When: Earlier than most people expect, and any time career paths, income, or family plans change.
Talk about:
• Whether you’re both contributing to a pension (and how much)
• What kind of lifestyle you’d like later in life, not just when you stop working
• Whether your current contributions still make sense as circumstances evolve
Why it matters: Retirement can feel far away, but having early conversations and starting to save sooner gives you more choice and flexibility. Talking about it earlier makes long-term planning feel more manageable and puts you in a stronger position over time, helping you move forward with confidence rather than leaving things to chance.
Paula Llewellyn, CEO, DC & Workplace Savings at L&G comments:“Our research shows couples are often confident talking about short term finances, but when it comes to long term planning, many are putting off the conversation. Although understandable given rising living costs and immediate financial pressures, avoiding those bigger discussions entirely can risk leaving people underprepared for the future they’re working towards.
“Talking openly about money might feel awkward at first, but the aim is to build a habit around it. Even if you’re not always in agreement, knowing each other’s financial priorities is important. Planning for retirement is a good example. Clearly it may feel like more of a priority the older you and your partner get, but how you plan to live in later life (and how you plan to pay for that) is a big decision. Making it together can reduce future stress and ultimately give both partners more freedom and confidence in what lies ahead.”
To find out more, and for further tips on starting the money conversation, please visit: https://www.legalandgeneral.com/retirement/pensions/campaigns/financial-situationships/
