“The New Year offers a blank slate and an opportunity to get things right,” says Relationship Consultant Mairead Molloy. “When we set New Year’s resolutions, we are utilising a very important concept called self-efficacy, which means by virtue of aspiring to a goal and following through on it, we have a sense of control over what’s happening in our lives.”
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Why do goals we set ourselves often fail?
“Most people blame their failure to fulfil resolutions on a lack of time, resources, or motivation, or a loss of motivation after starting. Only about 16% of people are able to follow their resolutions, says Mairead.
“We often fail to achieve and keep them because they focus on a specific outcome, for example, a precise body weight. When the focus is placed on a specific outcome, it can be challenging to persevere in your efforts toward it if results are not immediate.”
How to set and uphold your September reset goals
1.Be realistic by establishing smaller goals
“Start with small, realistic goals. When you set yourself a huge milestone, it can feel overwhelming. Breaking big goals into micro-goals will help you turn a big commitment into a more manageable target and will help build the momentum you need to accomplish your resolutions.
Many people will decide that their New Year’s resolution is to lose weight, run a marathon, stop smoking, become vegan, or be less stressed. These goals are respectable but unrealistic because they have not been broken down into smaller, more achievable, and less daunting goals.
Starting with smaller goals will put you on a positive path towards reaching the larger ones.”
2. Set a plan or timeline
“Ask yourself what you want to achieve, when you want to achieve it and why. Planning is the root of successful resolutions, so not having a steady plan will negatively affect your motivation.”
3. Set concrete goals instead of general goals
“To ensure your resolutions are attainable, it’s important to focus on concrete goals instead of general ones.
For example, if your goal is to lose weight, set yourself an exact amount instead of a general statement of ‘being healthier’ or, using the example of reading, resolve to read one book every month instead of ‘reading more’.”
4. Implement self-check-ins
“Hold yourself accountable regularly by checking in with yourself and answering two questions – ‘What am I tolerating?’ and ‘What am I avoiding?’. The answers serve as a gateway to create real and honest change.”
5. Ensure your resolution has meaning
“Set resolutions that have a deep meaning to you. When you are able to firmly know why you want to make a resolution, it’s easier to keep.
Your resolutions should come from the heart and not from the mind. This way, you will draft your plans based on what you actually desire to do and not what you feel is right.”
6. Stay positive
“Focusing on the negative will make it hard for you to reach your goals. Try to stimulate your mind with positive things by participating in activities that leave your mind feeling refreshed and energised.
Rather than rushing forward in a panic to set resolutions or a list of goals, you can start on New Year’s day, forget all that and enter the New Year in a mode of being absolutely present and absolutely positive about how great it’s going to be.”
7. Set resolutions with a partner, friend or family member
“It’s always better to have support with resolutions. It will also bring out your competitive side! If you do set goals with someone else, be sure to show each other support and complement each other regularly. Make time to hear each other out if one of you is struggling to commit.”
8. Watch out for resolutions based on the expectations of others
“Ensure that your resolutions and goals are not based on the expectations of others or that you are being driven by a false need to conform to societal norms.
Resolutions and goal setting are a time to make real changes and take stock of where you are and what you want out of life. Not to continue doing what others expect you to do or what you think might make you seem or feel more successful or more appealing.“
