Manchester: So Much To Answer For
Kevin Cummins exhibit
31st May 2012
As some of you may already know, The Daily Waffle held a competition to win tickets to the above exhibit, held at Proud Camden in London. I was lucky enough to win a ticket for me and my plus one for the opening night of the fabulous exhibition. Mike Joyce, drummer from The Smiths would be playing a DJ set. I think it probably goes without saying how hyper I was.
My friend and I had begged and cajoled the afternoon off work and hopped on the train to London. Both of us chattering nineteen to the dozen all the way there. The venue is located about ten minutes away from the Chalk Farm tube stop and it took longer to walk there than strictly necessary as our attention was turned to vintage clothing shops. We marched up to the overly made up PR girl on the desk, where I calmly announced I was on the guest list. Me, on the guest list, I never thought I’d see the day. A bouncer the size and shape of 20 stacked hay bales opened the battered blue door to the venue and we were greeted by a smiley lady with a Slavic accent who was kind enough to point out who the photographer was.
I will be perfectly honest, I may know a bit about music but what I know about photography could be written on the back of a postage stamp. Having researched Kevin Cummins, it turns out he has photographed some of the most famous musicians in the world. Hailing from Salford himself, Cummins has photographed; Joy Division, Manic Street Preachers, The Clash, The Sex Pistols, Marc Bolan, David Bowie, The Smiths, Michael Hutchence, The Stone Roses and The Buzzcocks. The list goes on from there. What a legend in the field of photography. We had both failed to pay attention when the hostess pointed out the photographer. We pinned him down as the neat little man with a greying beard in the corner signing autographs.
The venue itself is stark and white; white floorboards, white walls, exposed ceiling and the largest mirror ball I have ever seen. The Smiths and Joy Division are on rotation via the little DJ booth. My friend and I squeal and squawk at the photographs. Fortunately for Cummins, Morrissey is exceptionally easy on the eye and takes a lovely photo anyway. I’m even more enamoured by the fact that he seems to own not only a cardigan but a jumper and a t-shirt in silver Lurex, and is quite prone to wearing t-shirts with his own face on. I think you can pull it off when you’re a rock star. Only one photograph is in colour, a portrait of Marr with his sleeve rolled up and a drawn-on tattoo proclaiming him as an “Ex-Smith”. The photographer has captured many an image of the band and Morrissey alone; performing, lying down, staring moodily into the distance and of course, the oh-so-famous shot of the band outside The Salford Lads Club. I, of course, have a picture of myself standing outside there, grinning like the daft little fangirl that I am. Even my ignorant eye can see what beautiful photos they are. I particularly like the shot of the fan in a screen printed denim jacket, the album cover to “Hatful of Hollow” on the back, talking to a little old lady outside a shop.
Once we have looked at every photo, bought a drink and sat outside to escape the cloying heat, we begin to feel a little uncomfortable. Nice girls we might be, but Camden hipsters we are not. As an example, we are repeatedly glared at by a 6 foot man wearing the following; a pair of knee-high Doc Marten boots with white laces, leggings, a big black t-shirt, NHS large framed spectacles with the sides taped up, despite the fact they are clearly not broken. His hair bleached white blonde and arranged in an artful quiff. He’s clearly never seen two very smiley fat girls who buy all their clothes at Primark. After a few times of his disdainful stares I lose my temper with him, as he strolls past I loudly call him a name that shall not be repeated here. I wouldn’t mess with me sunshine, one of my thighs weighs more than you.
The room steadily fills up with little girls in baggy lace dresses, dishevelled hair and overly large spectacles. The men are wearing almost the same. I’m pretty sure I am the only person in the entire room wearing spectacles with an actual prescription in them. Our initial nervousness dissipates and we revert to our standard repertoire of giggling, taking stupid photos of each other and talking about work. I pull my notebook out of my bag as quietly as I can and make a few notes, and snap a few photos. It feels so weird being at an event such as this, I’m waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder and say “You shouldn’t be here”. We buy posters and postcards from the little shop in the corner, having a fit of laughter at the quote from Morrissey “I would never ever do anything as vulgar as having fun”. Sums up most the people here in one sentence!
We walk down the long corridor to the garden. This is separated into little booths, each one decorated differently. One is has an Arabic feel with its long silk scarves and oil lamps. The next looks like the set of Motley Crue video, zebra print furry walls and a strippers pole. One booth is reserved for MTV. A man inside taps on a laptop. He has a green mullet. Oh, for heaven’s sake.
After eavesdropping for a while on a group of skinny lads talking about “partying with Russian models” we sip beer and chat until the bands come on stage. I had noticed the Brett Anderson look-a-like swanking around in a stripey shirt, repeatedly flicking his hair out of his eyes. Turns out he’s the drummer in the first band, which means I can slightly forgive his arrogant air. Despite my initial misgivings, Hatcham Social (http://www.myspace.com/hatchamsocial) are actually a fantastic band. I like their The Wombats meets Pulp styling and their music is danceable. The lead singer is a little bit Cocker, the guitarist a little bit Butler. This band is definitely one to watch. I hadn’t been able to hear the name of the band as I was nearly sent flying by an ardent Morrissey fan with an enormous quiff and brothel creepers. I manage to collar the leader singer and drummer outside and they tell me about their band. Turns out they’re very nice guys. I would love to see them again
The second band, The Hoodlums, (http://www.myspace.com/hoodlumsband) took the risky step of including a few Smiths covers in the set. I have to say they did a sterling job at this, aided by the fact their lead singer has a fantastic voice. They are a great band who perform exceptionally well live but unfortunately their music just isn’t my kind of thing. A bit too emo for my taste but their final song “The Estuary Boys” included a singing in harmony part which I really loved. The lead singer is very charismatic and performed to a little room of glasses wearing hipsters as if we were a festival crowd.
Following a short reprieve, a man in glasses begins to quietly set up on stage. There he is. Mike Joyce, from The Smiths. The actual drummer from the actual Smiths. We are a stones throw away from him. After a few minutes of feedback, he starts his DJ set with “Blue Monday” by New Order, which also happens to be one of the my favourite songs of all times. It is so lovely to see someone doing what they love and Mike Joyce looked delighted to be on stage. He clapped, he laughed and he danced along with us. He stopped to pose for photos again and again and didn’t seem to care a dot when he was grabbed and cuddled over and over again by sweaty overwhelmed fans. He played such perfect music, The Rolling Stones “Paint it Black”, The Undertones “Teenage Kicks”, Gloria Jones “Tainted Love”. He sang and played air-drums to every song. He even included The Smiths “This Charming Man” and my favourite Morrissey song “The Last of the Famous International Playboys”. It was hilarious that moments prior to this a fan had handed him a tiny little knitted effigy of Morrissey, which he dropped on the floor and pretended to stamp on.
We had to leave to get to our train but waved a cheerful goodbye to Mike. It was so good to get outside after the sweaty dancing, but it had been a wonder to see all the men dancing like Morrissey. It is such a shame we couldn’t stay for all of Mike’s set but it had been amazing to see him. I was in a nightclub in Camden and Mike Joyce, the actual drummer from the actual Smiths, played Suede “Animal Nitrate”. My life is now entirely complete.
A short walk to the train, a packet of sushi and a bottle of orange juice. It took all of our energy not to fall asleep on our seats. I got soy sauce on my favourite dress but I really don’t care. What a wonderful night with a wonderful friend. I really can’t thank The Daily Waffle enough for the privilege to be there. Mike Joyce is a lovely man and we were so lucky to be given a chance like this. I’ve kept my wristbands and postcards, and now I have a perfect little story I can’t wait to tell everyone.
The exhibit is open from 1st June 2012 to 15th July 2012, and details can be found here http://www.proudcamden.com/
Editor’s Note – Our competition had very few entries. So if you didn’t enter this article really shows you what you missed out on! Sarah.
