Its been a long, dull, international break with not much happening in it to discuss so let’s get straight to it with this weeks EPL Report.
There are a few games of the EPL calendar that really whet the appetite for every football fan. But you would struggle to find one much bigger than Manchester United v Liverpool, the two most successful teams in English History and probably the best supported English teams worldwide. So it was fitting that the Premier League kicked off on Saturday dinner with this mammoth game. The game itself is a blur for me, as I spent the majority of it in a rage-endused coma as United once again came up short at Anfailed. Javier ‘Little Pea’ Hernandez bailing out the Champions with an 81st minute equaliser. If I was to be brutally honest, a draw was probably a fair result on the day, unfortunately.
The rest of Saturday’s games were a bit shit looking on paper, with the league’s potentially two worst teams in QPR and Blackburn playing each other at Loftus Road, Stoke and Fulham which had 0-0 written all over it, and Wigan and Bolton all playing each other. I couldn’t have been more wrong. QPR and Blackburn shared the points after ‘Big’ Chris Samba scored an equaliser after Helguson’s scuffed cross/shot gave QPR the lead. Bolton returned to winning ways beating the already relegated Wigan (well, almost) 3-1, including a cracker from Chris Eagles. Oh, and Stoke won.
After United dropped more points, deep in Scouseville, Citeh took maximum advantage by smashing Aston Villa 4-1 at Eastlands. Serious Mr Lerner, what were you thinking when you hired McLeish? Is it some sort of day-release programme that Birmingham City Council are funding? Chelsea also piled the pressure on the Manchester clubs by beating Everton 3-1 at Stamford Bridge. Daniel Sturridge getting himself on the score sheet once again, yet further proving to Roman Abramovich that you don’t need to spend £50m to score goals in the Premier League. Saturday’s games were rounded off by two promoted clubs facing each other, as Norwich hosted Swansea at Carrow Road. Swansea are Welsh you know, just in case you missed it. But just being Welsh wasn’t enough as this years Hull City came out 3-1 winners.
Sundays games started with two of the leagues relegation fodder clashing in a Midlands derby as West Brom beat Wolves 2-0. I truly hope Wolves don’t win a single point for the rest of the season, or at least until they sack Mick McCarthy, as my totally irrational hatred of the man grows larger as the weeks go by. In the second game of the day, Robin Van Persie beat Sunderland 2-1 at the Emirates. The team formerly known as Arsenal officially changed their name to Robin Van Persie on Sunday in recognition of the Dutch strikers prowess as there only decent player. And finally, Alan Pardew continued proving to the world that he is a better magician than David Copperfield, Penn and Teller and Dynamo put together. Somehow, Newcastle United are STILL unbeaten thanks to a 2-2 draw at home to Spurs. But in even more of a shocker, their equalising goal came courtesy of Shola Ameobi. Seriously, I’m not lying.
So with all black magic aside, that wraps up the EPL Report for this week. Next weeks EPL Report may be brought to you by our very own Spurs_Boy, depending on the result in the Manchester Derby. So until then, I bid you farewell.