Britain, as a whole, is generally seen as a country of tea-sipping aristocrats who all speak like the Queen and play polo. The harsh reality is that we, the British, are as mad as toast. That’s the impression I got when I came across this list of unusual Freedom of Information requests received by local governments in 2011. Local Governments received a whopping 197,000 requests last year, costing a massive £36.1 million to investigate and reply to.
The Local Government Association (LGA) was kind enough to compile a list of the most unusual requests that their members received from the public. The Freedom of Information Act (more info here) allows the public to request certain information, and from the looks of the following list it seems a few people have a bit too much time on their hands. Here’s the list:
10. What is the total number of cheques issued by the council in the past year, and how many did it receive? (Scarborough Borough Council)
Clearly a barn-storming topic of choice on the tip of many of Joe Public’s lips. Never mind the current climate of economic uncertainty, lets fin out how many cheques a council has raised….
9. Provide details of uniforms worn by Civil Enforcement Officers including descriptions of embroidered logos and markings, as well as any difference between summer winter wear. (Allerdale District Council)
Looks like some budding Gok Wan may be interested in getting into the under-utilised market of Government fashion. There is certainly a niche their I’m sure.
8. How much money has been paid to exorcists over the past 12 months? (Cornwall Council)
Not the greatest advertisement for visiting Cornwall, the fact that someone was worried the Government may be overspending on exorcists. However, it could be that someone was setting up their own version of the Ghostbusters and fancied under-cutting the current Cornwall Council contractor?
7. How does the council manage to cope with the vagaries of Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle? How does it function given the inherent unpredictability? (Wealden District Council)
It’s about time SOMEONE asked this question……..
6. How many holes in privacy walls between toilet cubicles have been found in public lavatories and within council buildings? (Cornwall Council)
Another cracker from Cornwall Council, and maybe an attempt to boost tourism after the exorcist scare? Although I’m not sure why people would want to put a hole in the wall of a toilet cubicle….. It’s for what?….. My gosh!
5. What plans are in place to deal with an alien invasion (Merseyside Fire and Rescue Service)
I really don’t know where to start with this question. Should I start with the fact that a potential alien invasion is at the top of someone’s list of priorities? Or should I just focus on the fact that it was asked to the Fire and Rescue Service? I mean, come on, what in the name of Winston Churchill would the F&R service do in this scenario? Hope that the aliens are made of a material that dissolves in water?
4. What preparations has the council made for a zombie attack? (Bristol City Council and Leicester City Council)
The most surprising thing is that this wasn’t asked to more councils. As Zombies are the flavour of the year for 2011, expect next years questions to include ‘How to hire The Avengers?’ and ‘How many Hobbits does the council employ?’
3. How many drawing pins are in the building and what percentage are currently stuck in a pin board? (Hampshire County Council)
One of my personal favourites on the list and another blisteringly hot topic. I’m sure I saw a similar question posed to David Cameron during Prime Ministers Questions the other day. Is it wrong though that I’m actually curious what the answer is? Yes? I’ll get my coat….
2. What preparations has the council made for an emergency landing of Santa’s sleigh this Christmas? Who would be responsible for rescuing Santa? Who would be responsible for rounding up the reindeer, and who would have to tidy the crash site? (Cheltenham Borough Council)
I’m very disappointed in this question and the person who in fact posed this question. Have they not seen The Santa Clause? There’s a special Elf tactical unit that takes care of these things…. Durrr!
1. How does the council plan to help the brave soldiers of our infantry if and when Napoleon and his marauding hordes invade the district? (West Devon District Council)
What an amazing finish to the list! I know the post office is often criticised for being slow, but surely this FOI request has been on hold since the late 18th Century? I just hope that the answer to this question consisted of the following…. ‘Easy, We’d hire the A Team.’