Recent reports have found that bullying and harassment have been revealed as the leading causes of complaints, as reports of grievances soared over the last two years.
In response, leading office furniture suppliers Furniture at Work teamed up with HR expert Roxanne Massey from Honest HR to explore how common passive aggressive phrases can be said in a more positive way.
Here are the HR-friendly translations of commonly used phrases in the office:
Instead of “That’s not fair,” try “I need to let you know how I feel. It feels like things are not fair at the moment.”
“Unfairness happens, and most people have biases that mean some end up disadvantaged. If this happens, take your manager to the side for a quiet word and be honest, ‘I need to let you know how I feel, but it feels like things are not fair at the moment.’ Explain your reasons and present your facts.”
Instead of “Must be nice to have time to enjoy yourself,” try
“Tell me your secret; how do you manage to do everything you need to do and have time for that too? I just don’t seem to
be able to.”
“Rather than the sarcasm, which we all do sometimes, especially when under pressure, try and get some insight. ‘Tell me your secret; how do you manage to do everything you need to do and have time for that too? I just don’t seem to be able to.’ You may be surprised about what they are missing out on.”
Instead of “I guess I’ll just have to figure it out myself,” try “I don’t know the best way to approach this; please, can you guide me?”
“Some people cannot read between the lines or see when they are not being supportive. Try to explain to them, ‘I don’t know the best way to approach this; please, can you guide me?’”
When you’re being micromanaged:
Instead of “It’s great to know you trust me to do my job,” try “I know you trust me to do this, so give me a chance, and I’ll come to you if I need some support.”
“When you feel you are being micromanaged, turn this around to a more positive angle, to show you don’t need to be managed in this way, such as: ‘I know you trust me to do this, so give me a chance, and I’ll come to you if I need some support.’”
When you’re overworked:
Instead of “I don’t have time for this,” try “Looking at the things I have to do, I can see that this is a priority to you. What item on my task list shall I push back/take off to get this done?”
“When you’re being asked to do too much, instead of saying, ‘I don’t have time for this,’ say ‘Looking at the things I have to do, I can see that this is a priority to you. What item on my task list shall I push back/take off to get this done?’ It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you have lots of work and deadlines, show you can prioritise these and work through what’s required in priority order.
Instead of “That is not my job/above my pay grade,” try “I’m not comfortable doing this; it’s not something in my area of knowledge.”
“Not wanting to do work that is not on your job description can feel like the right thing to do, especially if you’ve checked out of the job for
any reason. If you are serious about not doing the task, try saying, ‘I’m not comfortable doing this; it’s not something in my area of knowledge.’ They may well try to train you to do it, though.”
When you’re worried about a coworker:
Instead of “You look tired today,” try “How are things?”
“This can come across badly to someone, especially if they don’t feel tired or think they look great. If you genuinely care, try leading with ‘How are things?’ but be ready to actually listen and then respond to the answer.”
Roxanne also said:
“We spend so much of our time at work that it can be hard to remain professional 100% of the time; stress, being busy, and external and internal pressures can all affect how we communicate. It’s important to try to remain professional for your career and sanity.
“Unfortunately, we can’t control other people but can control how we react to situations. While sarcasm or little remarks may feel good in the moment, they won’t help change the situation or others’ behaviours.
“Overall, you never know what others are going through that caused the initial problem, try and be courteous and find solutions to make work a better place for everyone, escalating when needed.”
For more information surrounding the workplace, head to the
Furniture At Work blog.
