The holidays bring families together. So with Halloween already weeks behind us, we can all look forward to spending lots of time with our relatives. For better or worse, we’ll soon be spreading holiday cheer with overly critical in-laws, rambunctious young cousins, and that aunt whose political views get more radical each year. And while each family has its own unique traditions and rituals, most holiday repertoires inevitably involve board games—one of the few activities the whole family, young and old, can participate in. But because your brother is an unbearable gloater and the thought of losing monopoly to your ten-year-old nephew strikes fear into your heart, you’ll need a few aces up your sleeve this holiday season. Here are the top ways to win at all costs this Christmas.
Business is Business
If the recent Barclays Libor rigging scandal has taught us anything, it is that there is no ‘right and wrong’ in the business world. Profit is what matters most, and whatever puts a bit more money in your hand is probably best. So when the monopoly board comes out, the easiest way to win is to simply volunteer to be the banker, because bankers always win. Or if Scrabble makes an appearance this holiday season, it will certainly help to control the purse strings of the tile bag.
Questionable Accounting
If you weren’t a math major, no one expects you to be good with numbers. And after the eggnog and peppermint Schnapps come out, no one else will be either. So the key to keeping the numbers on your side this holiday season is quick accounting. Efficiency is king. Roll the dice, call out a number that looks about right, and pick them up again before anyone can argue. Deal yourself an extra card now and make some sloppy math slips here and there. After all, every makes mistakes.
The Old Tap-Tap Trick
This timeless classic can be applied to any game with pieces that move along a board. While counting your progress, tap out the right number of spaces, but don’t necessarily move the piece along with the taps. Oh look: Free Parking!
21st Century Tricks
From apps that build words from your Scrabble tiles to Google’s help winning Trivial Pursuit, smartphones are a godsend for struggling board game players. Just pretend you’re sending out some festive seasonal text messages, and viola!, victory.
Whoops! to the Rescue
If all else fails and you seem doomed to lose to pre-pubescent Timmy, there is always one last mistake you can ‘accidentally’ make to solve everything. Whether it is the hairline trigger holding all the pieces together in Connect Four or the oh-so-delicate arrangement of army men in Risk, a simple moment of clumsiness can provide a great cover for what would otherwise be a complete disaster. Just remember to put on your most charming faux-embarrassed smile and point out that ‘everyone wins.’ Then either brace yourself for a rematch, or find a clever excuse to get far away—even if it means talking politics with Aunt Mildred.
For better and worse, there is no referee in the tough game of holiday family time. So because your father in-law gets away with having ‘one too many’ yet again this year, and saying what he really thinks; you might as well be able to siphon a few twenties out of the old Monopoly bank. Just remember, the best underhanded strategies for family board games—like the most painful criticisms about the quality of the roast—are the subtlest. Happy holidays!
Victoria loves board games, and recommends Gift-Library for their huge range, from the more traditional to latest crazes. Victoria’s favourite festive game is Pucket, which is loud, fast-paced and guaranteed to bring out your competitive side!
