The pressure on us to perform in the bedroom can, at times, be overwhelming. With Valentine’s day approaching this week, the focus on romance can put a further spotlight on our activities in the bedroom.
To find out more, LloydsPharmacy Online Doctor surveyed 500 Brits to reveal how many people are dealing with performance anxiety in the bedroom. Almost a third (32%) of Brits admitted that they have experienced sexual performance anxiety but have never spoken to anyone about it and just 9% of those who have experienced it have discussed the issue with friends and family.
While worries about sexual inadequacy, the inability to please a partner or even body image may feel isolating, the majority of the population has experienced it at some point. So if your anxiety levels are overshadowing your amorous night this Valentine’s Day, take a deep breath and read on.
Men on average are more open with their experience of sexual performance anxiety than women (12% of men speak about it with friends vs only 7% of women)
Of the men surveyed, 60% of them have experienced sexual performance anxiety at some point, with 31% never speaking about it with anyone.
One fifth of men admitted that being intimate with a new person increases the chances of experiencing sexual performance anxiety when dating. A further 11% admitted that the chances increase after they have had alcohol, and 12% are more likely to experience sexual anxiety when they are stressed.
19% of women are put off dating due to the possibility of being intimate with a new person
Women can feel just as anxious about sexual performance as men. Of the women surveyed, half (50%) of them have experienced sexual performance anxiety at some point, with one third (33%) never speaking about it with anyone.
Society’s view of what constitutes a ‘good body’ can have a huge impact on women’s experience with sexual performance anxiety. Our research revealed that 7% of women are more likely to experience sexual performance anxiety when dating. This is because they feel that they have not been eating healthily and exercising less.
Almost one fifth of women (19%) admitted that being intimate with a new person increases the chances of experiencing sexual performance anxiety when dating. A further 12% are more likely to experience it when they are stressed.
Overcoming sexual performance anxiety and seeking help
The likelihood of speaking with a professional about sexual performance anxiety is even less likely for many with just 7% of men having spoken about sexual performance anxiety with a GP or specialist, which again drops to only 5% for women.
There are a number of ways you could go about tackling sexual performance anxiety.
- Exercise more often
Improving your fitness can boost your confidence as you’ll be in a better physical shape. This matters because exercise pumps blood around the body, not only releasing endorphins, which improve your mood and reduce stress, but also making all your muscles perform better.
- Being open and honest with your partner
Like therapy, talking your problems through with your partner often means that you take a big weight off your mind. A lot of your anxieties could well be unfounded when you start to talk them through. You may find that your partner is very understanding. It may be that you’re worrying about nothing at all and you’ll look back in a month or so and wonder what the problem was in the first place.
- Experimenting with your partner
If you’re worried that your sex life has become stale, trying something new in the bedroom is a great place to start. You don’t even need to have penetrative sex. Try extended foreplay, massages, or perhaps even role play. If you’re experiencing PE, maybe take things slow and avoid contact with your penis – focus on her for longer.
- Try therapy, individual or couples
Some people may also like to talk to a professional and have some sexual performance anxiety therapy. Whether it’s by yourself or as a couple, therapy can help you overcome your concerns and anxiety about your performance. Not only will a therapist help you relieve some of the burden by talking it through, they can also teach you techniques that can help with your performance. Therapy for erectile problems is something that can be accessed through some GPs or privately.
- Incorporating mindfulness
In an internet age, there’s an increasing amount of pressure on us all to look a certain way. It’s easy to look at an image in the media and feel inadequate, but it’s important to remember that these images are not ‘real’ and are very likely to have been photo-shopped. In reality, we all come in different shapes and sizes, and find different things attractive in a partner.
A happy and healthy sex life is something to be enjoyed by everyone. If you find you are experiencing problems, our PE clinic is here to help.
You can find the full story here: https://onlinedoctor.lloydspharmacy.com/uk/mens-health-advice/preventing-sexual-performance-anxiety#causes-of-sexual-performance-anxiety
