Throughout the centuries dinner parties have always been relied upon to bring people together. Each time period had its own motivations, variations and formalities surrounding these occasions. From the brash extravagance of medieval banquets to the strict etiquette of the Victorians, every period has its own quirks!
As Covid restrictions ease and we’re allowed to reignite our social lives by returning to others houses, dinner parties are making a massive comeback. To celebrate this return, Windows & More explored the evolution of British dinner parties, from etiquette to entertainment, at different points in history.
Medieval
In medieval times, feasts and banquets were a time to showcase your status as you attempted to scale the social ladder. Etiquette was especially important as it could see you increase or decrease your social standing when the feast was through.
Budgets were blown on elaborate dishes displayed at their finest. A key item on every medieval menu was the ‘subtylte’ – a dish designed specifically to delight and surprise guests. Cooks would create lavish food sculptures of castles, fountains and mythical creatures, which were brought to the table with fanfare and music.
Etiquette:● Don’t sit down until after the Lord (or the guest with the highest social standing)● Don’t start eating until the entire course is served.● Only ever touch the designated ‘shared dishes’ (known as a ‘mess’) with your left hand.● Speaking of hands, those were the main eating implements, though a spoon was acceptable for soups and broths.● Any leftovers would be passed on to the poor – no lords or ladies would accept the same meal twice.● The feast was finished by a hand washing ceremony – Lord first of course.
Victorian
Fast forward through the centuries and Victorian dinner parties were still seen as elaborate social occasions. There were all kinds of formalities and etiquette expectations with severe social penalties for those who flouted them.
Throw a successful dinner party, with numerous courses, lavish table decorations and plenty of light conversation and your social star could soar.
Parties would start in the drawing-room, before moving into the dining room for the meal. Such were the strict etiquette expectations that even the movement between rooms had rules, with the hostess arranging which gentleman would escort a lady and the order of entrance to the room was dictated by status.
Crisp white linens, delicate china and impressive centrepieces would decorate the table, while menus could stretch to upward of 10 courses. Though there would be little in the way of entertainment during the meal beyond conversation, after eating guests would move back to the drawing-room. Card games, smoking and music could all form part of the evening’s entertainment.
Etiquette:● Gloves must be removed at the table● Don’t eat too much or too little. Too much was considered vulgar but too little could offend your host over the quality of the meal● Eat slowly and quietly keeping your mouth closed● Use the correct cutlery for different food and make sure you hold it correctly● Don’t comment too much on the food, either to praise or criticise it● Keep conversation light as arguing is considered bad manners and complex conversation topics could impair digestion● When dinner is over, expect to stay around for about another hour. Leaving too soon or lingering too long would be seen as equally rude.
1920s (Roaring Twenties)
In the midst of the post-WW1 economic boom, the twenties were a time of prosperity, parties and progress. The strict rules of Victorian dinners were shaken off, as was the sombre mood of wartime.
Some formalities did remain. Tables were still expected to be beautifully dressed with proper seat settings. One notable difference was the influence of the art deco movement which saw a new design flourish to glassware, tableware and interior decor.
Finger food, canapes and hors d’oeuvres were offered with a pre-dinner cocktail, a decided step away from the overt formality of the Victorian dinner parties.
There was also more of a focus on entertainment. A good host should entertain the guests, with lawn games before the meal, popular music to accompany the food and perhaps even dancing after dinner.
Etiquette:● You will be informed by the hostess whether it is a formal or informal dinner and then you must dress accordingly● Maintain good posture in your chair and don’t put your elbows on the table● Lay your napkin on your lap and only remove it once you’ve finished eating● Proper use of cutlery is still expected and you should place it down when you’re not using it● It was acceptable to leave a little food on your plate, as the hardship of war was over
1950s (Post-War)
The next post-war period was still restricted by rationing up until 1954 so being frugal was expected. There was no longer hired help, though entrenched gender roles meant that the roles of cook, waitress and hostess still went to the females of the house.
These were still considered fairly formal occasions but the lavish extravagance of earlier periods was definitely dropped. Instead, things were more homely, with patterned tablecloths and mats on the table. Food was limited to 3 courses, and often crafted from tinned food as the shadows of rationing still stretched across the decade.
Entertainment was also dispensed with, though perhaps there could be a wireless radio playing in the background and drinks, games and smoking after dinner.
Etiquette:● Formal wear was still expected even in the home. Suits for men and cocktail dresses for women● Greetings were relatively formal too, with handshakes expected as a greeting and a farewell● Timekeeping was important, with guests expected to arrive on time● For the first time in history, children may be present at the table though they were still expected to be quiet, well-behaved and only speak if spoken too● It was socially acceptable to take seconds, but if a guest did so then the host should too to keep the guest company● For acquaintances rather than friends, you should refer to them formally, by title.
1970s (Funky Seventies)
The seventies was a wild time of experimentation and dinner parties were no exception. Unexpected flavours, funky design and progressive values all played a part in updating the dinner party experience.
The move towards more liberal values had started but it was usually still down to the woman of the house to do the cooking. Menus could be a little more experimental with ‘aspic salads’ a common feature – basically food suspended in a savoury jelly. Nibbles were also popular, with vol-au-vents, cheese and pineapple hedgehogs and prawn cocktails all popular.
Table settings remained relatively formal, with a full set of shiny silverware and matching crockery set often used, but manners were much more relaxed. Dinner party entertainment also made a big comeback during the seventies, with music and party games often on the cards.
Etiquette:● Bring a gift for your host (wine or flowers would suffice)● The appropriate dress code would depend on the party, so make sure you check your invitation before dressing for the evening● The TV would be off during dinner, and if the phone rang it would be ignored● Guests were expected to stay the whole evening, lingering after the meal for drinks, games and chat
Modern Day
In the modern-day, dining has definitely taken a turn towards casual. Formal hosting is rare, but we still love to host our friends and families.
We’re no longer restricted to dining rooms or even a table. Getting your friends round for food could mean curling up on the sofa for pizza, or gathering in the garden for a BBQ.
What we eat has changed too, with the rise of morally driven meat-free diets and the increased awareness around food intolerances. While our menus will stretch all around the planet for inspiration, it’s not uncommon to have multiple dish options to meet individual needs.
Entertainment is the one thing that still holds strong, though the nature of it has changed somewhat. Music might soundtrack a meal but film nights and game nights take the focus away from the meal. Whether you’re playing board games, video games or exploring the rapidly expanding world of role-playing games, food is often just the snack that sustains the experience rather than the sole reason it exists.
Etiquette:● It’s nice but not necessary to bring a gift for the host (wine, flowers, a houseplant or even contribution to the meal on request)● Hosts are still expected to make their guests as comfortable as possible. This might mean giving them the best seat, your wifi password or first pick of the food● Conscientious guests can offer to help tidy away the plates or stack the dishwasher● The rise of takeaways means the host can once again easily delegate the cooking. When this happens, guests will often contribute to the costs.
We hope you enjoyed our dinner party journey and that maybe you’ve even found some inspiration for the next time you host!
