When entering a new year, celebrating with your loved one can hold a special significance. However, for couples that have been together for quite some time, many couples tend to overlook the areas within their relationship that have potential for further growth.
Relationship expert and BACP registered Counsellor Georgia Sturmer says, “When we work together with our partner to set goals for our relationship it shows that we are committed to each other. Not just today, but in moving forward together, rather than drifting along. Setting goals together is an acknowledgment that we understand that strong relationships involve hard work. And that this hard work, good communication and compromise, can be strengthen our relationship and feel incredibly rewarding.”
Speaking exclusively to leading jewellers Diamonds Factory, Georgia has shared what things you should consider when setting relationship goals with your partner:
- Start out solo
“While relationship goals are a shared endeavour, this doesn’t mean that you should be an inseparable pair for every part of the process. Before you get derailed or distracted by your partner’s intentions, spend some time reflecting on your own personal goals.”
“Consider what you need to get from the relationship, and what plans do you want to have in place. For some of us, it’s easy to prioritise and understand our needs. However, if we have people pleasing tendencies, or struggle with self-esteem, this might feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable. Either way, it’s really worth doing this beforehand. This way, you and your partner are more likely to bring your own individual creative spark to the idea of goal-setting. You might even be pleasantly surprised by what you each come up with.”
- Make a plan to make your plans
“There is not ‘best’ way to sit down with your partner as every couple works differently. But, it’s best to think about the moments when you are at your most relaxed and content, and when you find it easy to communicate with each other. Maybe you’ll get together over dinner, or you’ll spread it out over the course of a few weeks. Perhaps you’ll figure it out through informally chatting together, or maybe you’ll create something together that creates a concrete record of your plans. Find a way that suits you both.”
- Reflect on the future
“Take stock of where you are in life, and what your plans are. This means thinking about where you live, your career, whether you’re planning a family and what it requires from you both as a couple whether its financial planning or short term goals to help get get to those next steps. Of course it’s true to say that life throws things at us all the time, and this means that the best-laid plans can come unstuck. But if you know where you want to be it’s easier to figure out how to get there.”
- Think about what you can learn or achieve together
“There’s nothing like a shared hobby or activity to make you feel like a cohesive unit. Perhaps there’s something new that you can learn together, or a skill that you can develop, as this can be a new opportunity to bond and share experiences together. Pursue a hobby that aligns both your interests or something that you’ve always wanted to do together and set a day each week/month to start it.”
- Add some fun
“Relationship goals aren’t all about long-term planning and working hard. It’s also be about finding ways to spark joy and creativity in your time together, to have a laugh, and remember what brought you together. This could be including things like weekend getaways or experiences that you want to do together. These things don’t even need to be mapped out into a diary, it could just simply be a reminder to be impulsive, or to plan dates for each other.”
